Sunday, July 20, 2014

Diamonds in the Rough (1-5)

*completed prior to review layout change*

Diamonds in the Rough
Sniperocker123
Twilight
Summary: "Bella, I'm a vampire." "Um, yea, okay. Uh, good for you. Anything else?" "I love you." "That's better. I thought you'd never say the words. You know as old and experienced as you are, you can be pretty slow." AU/Non-Canon.
Rated M

Chapter 1
Bella is at some kind of party, for herself mind you, and is chugging beer. Somehow I don’t see this as a good idea, but then I don’t know Bella in this story and it says it’s non-canon so I imagine she can handle it.
Belly-Bean is a clever nickname. Ten points for creativity.
I KNEW it would be a bad idea! Belly-Bean is going to have to live off of aspirin today.
I think Bella is multiple-personalities. Awesome.
On our way to Forks!
Chapter 2
It’s cute that Bella still calls her dad daddy. I do that too sometimes, but not nearly as often as I did when I was younger.
I like this Bella, she’s so different.
Haha! I shouldn’t be laughing about Bella calling herself a delusional retard, but it’s not ‘retard’ that makes me laugh, it’s her other personality talking trash at her.
Ha! Charlie has a stalker! This chapter just keeps getting better and better!
Bella sounds quite spoiled, I wonder how this is going to play out.
Whoa, Bella CAN’T cook? Didn’t see that coming!
How did he get your car there? He’s got money, Bella! Duh!
Kim Kardashian? Haha too good.
So cocky!
It’s a little bit weird that only a short time before she was talking about being straight, but she wants to touch Alice’s butt. But her personality is so funny that I can’t help but laugh.
Oh Edward…
Chapter 3
Poor Mike…
Bella is so crazy! She’s confident and cocky and hilarious! I freakin’ LOVE your Bella!!!
Just curious when Bella learned their names.
I like her split personality, it’s great.
Why did Bella offer to help when she openly admitted she can’t cook?
Ha! Taco Bella! I’m going to hire you to make up nicknames for me!
Bella’s a vegetarian? I thought she was eating meat last chapter?
Oh we’re going to hear about Bella’s mom!
Oh wait, no we’re not. Damn it!
Lisa’s back!
Chapter 4
Is Lisa a lesbian?
Nope, I guess not.
Bella is clearly holding in a ton of pain that will sooner than later drive her crazy. She should let go of it, trust someone with her pain so that she can take back control of her life.
Oh of course Edward’s there.
I feel like Bella and Edward are going to get drunk and end up together…
Hmmm I wonder what Nellie knows that Bella doesn’t.
Chapter 5
Lisa left so soon! And we still don’t know what officially happened to Bella’s mom!
And Charlie’s sick, and Billy’s going to take care of him while Bella’s at school.
Are Edward and Bella dating now? I’m seriously confused.
Ms. Cope is still funny.
I don’t understand what’s going on…
Okay, I think I sort of understand.

To be honest, the story started out great. There was enough mystery to keep going and keep interest, but as it went on it got soooo confusing. We’re five chapters in and STILL don’t know what happened with Bella’s mom. I’m assuming she’s dead, since ‘was’ was used when speaking about her, but how did she die? Things started to get rushed, too. One minute Bella and Edward are just talking and the next they’re dating? Or sort of dating? Maybe it’s just me, but I’m really starting to have a hard time keeping up.

Very Important

Sorry guys, it's not a review. This, however, is something very important I want everybody to understand, mainly the web trolls who have taken it upon themselves to bully and hurt people for their own selfish gain, and by gain I mean something for them to get off on.


Alright, I’ve had a bit to think about it (and think about it, I have done) and I wanted to throw this out there for everybody to understand. Anybody who has been on my reviews for iWant Cassie on fanfiction.net recently likely saw the reviews about the story  being reported (guess they decided to just target one to review? I don’t know, I also don’t care) and I wanted to explain where they came from.

I have a friend (I have several friends, but this particular one is relevant to the story) who loves to write, who is very passionate about writing, and who thoroughly enjoys writing fanfiction for fun. Many of her stories contain song lyrics (yes, yes, I’ll get to that later). This group of writers from the site, not admins, writers, decided they were the most spectacular people known to mankind, and chose to form together to target other writers and blast them in a forum for violating copyright law. There are a lot of things I want to, and I’m going to, address about this particular group, but to begin this “rant” as they seem to define it (because no college-educated adult could ever just post anything in this forum full of select people who are apparently the only ones, with the exception of the people they target who cower thinking they have any kind of power, who are allowed to post in the forum without it being a rant) I’m going to first turn to valuable information about copyright infringement, the Fair Use Act, public domain and what that means for fanfiction.net. I’m not trying to turn you guys away from the website or draw attention to it, I’m trying to share an educated opinion on it (and trust me, as much as I’ve had to hear and read about copyright infringement in school, specifically college, I am pretty educated on it).

So first, let me address the issue of copyright infringement. Copyright infringement is defined as “a copyrighted work that is reproduced, distributed, performed, publicly displayed, or made into a derivative work without the permission of the copyright owner.” (see Copyright Definitions). The people who started this forum insist that fanfiction is NOT, as is defined, copyright infringement under the Fair Use Act. Not true, however, because the Fair Use Act states that “Section 107 contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.” It goes on to give some examples of what might be considered fair use, such as “quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment; quotation of short passages in a scholarly or technical work, for illustration or clarification of the author’s observations; use in a parody of some of the content of the work parodied; summary of an address or article, with brief quotations, in a news report; reproduction by a library of a portion of a work to replace part of a damaged copy; reproduction by a teacher or student of a small part of a work to illustrate a lesson; reproduction of a work in legislative or judicial proceedings or reports; incidental and fortuitous reproduction, in a newsreel or broadcast, of a work located in the scene of an event being reported.” (see Copyright Fair Use).

Again, these are just some examples. There are probably hundreds more out there. But if you remember back in the beginning of this post, derivative work fell under copyright infringement. Derivative work is “a work based on or derived from one or more already existing works.” It goes on to say that “only the owner of copyright in a work has the right to prepared, or to authorize someone else to create, an adaption of that work.” Basically, only the author, or someone they've selected has the right to create more works based on a work they’ve already created. (see Copyright in Derivative Works and Compilations).
Finally, the forum moderators mentioned public domain (oh you moderators), let me just define that for you while you’re still reading. “The work of authorship is in the “public domain” if it is no longer under copyright protection or if it failed to meet the requirements for copyright protection.” (see Copyright Definitions). So, in a nutshell, if it’s copyrighted, it’s not in the public domain.

What does this all mean for fanfiction? Well, it means that we’re all technically committing copyright infringement. We are borrowing characters we don’t own and creating derivative work from them without the authors exclusive permission. However, because fanfiction is generally used as a hobby, a creative outlet, a place for people to come together, or a place for people to improve their writing skill, and because no harm is usually done, the authors don’t care. They turn a blind eye so they don’t have to step on the toes of the fans who enjoy writing. Some may even think it’s an honor that their fans enjoyed their work so much they want to expand on it, who knows. It’s a hush, hush topic (for a lot of reasons, not just copyright). If, however, an author is NOT cool with their work being used on the site, they can, and have been known to threaten to, shut the entire site down FOR copyright infringement. So obviously, with that little bit of knowledge, it’s pretty difficult to argue that it’s not copyright infringement.

This particular group of people, who are evidently just wanna-be copycats of Critics United (another group of people who apparently get off on bullying other people on a fanfiction site because, you know, their lives hold no meaning or something), think it’s their place to try to intimidate other fanfiction authors for petty, stupid little things and state the rules four and a half billion times as if we don’t know them. First, I’ve been writing fanfiction for nearly eight (yes, eight) years. I was writing fanfiction when it was still hush hush and people would mock you for it.  I know the rules better than anybody. Have I broken them? Yeah. It’s not something I brag about, or would ever go around bragging about, but when an idea hits me, or I hear a song on the radio, or people are blowing up my e-mail every single day telling me I NEED TO UPDATE, sometimes the rules go out the window for me. It’s not a rebellious thing, it’s not me thinking I’m high and mighty and don’t have to follow them. It’s me getting the idea out, even if there are lyrics in it, or me telling everyone to chill out, to wait, to update people on what’s going on (for example, I got a beta and went from posting a chapter a day to taking my time, letting her take her time, and then posting and people flipped out. So I posted an author’s note as a chapter which is against the rules. It was literally two years ago and now these people are coming up with “you can’t do that.” Like they can’t see it’s not been updated in two years).  

Also, with the exception of two of the moderators who have been on the site since 2005 (I started Oct. 2006), the rest of them started 2008, 2011, 2012,  2013 respectively according to their profiles. They are NOT administrators of the site, though they apparently think they are, they are writers who have a bone to pick with other writers for infringing on copyright which is what they’re doing by writing fanfiction (duh).

Since I really just find them sad and lonely, and since their group will eventually disband just like EVERY OTHER GROUP WHO HAS TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WEBSITE, I’ve decided to check out their profiles and let you guys decide if these people are worth taking seriously. I won’t be juvenile and put their names out there to blast, since you can find them simply by looking for any forum with the words ‘copyright’ in them, and you’ve probably already had to deal with them.

So the first one (2005) has a profile LITERALLY FULL of shit about copyright infringement and plagiarism including a POEM written about it and a bunch of answers from people they’ve attacked. This, my friends, is a CLEAR CUT SIGN of cyberbullying. Are you serious, dude? This is what you spent an entire day doing? You are so obsessed with “busting” people for having some fun you wrote an entire poem about it? Yet I’m the immature one. Okay. That’s cool. If it’s immature to stick up for those who actually enjoy writing and call you out for being one of the biggest web trolls of all time, then sure. Call me what you want. I’m not the one that spent a great deal of time creating a profile all about C.I. and plagiarism when I have an entire stupid forum about it. Also, please do legitimate research and/or see the above points in this post. You obviously don’t have a clue about fair use or what a derivative work is. You should type in complete sentences, too. Just throwing that out there. If you want to harass and bully others, we can come back just as hard at you.

The second one (2005) has a fanfiction profile for the exact purpose of scouting people out to throw C.I. and plagiarism at them and has apparently been writing since before the internet was dreamed of (a little history lesson, internet was invented around 1962, though wasn’t called internet). That means this particular user, if his/her argument that he/she has been writing since before the internet was dreamed of, would have had to been born 1961 or early. Simple math concludes this user is at least 52, going on 53 or older. In short, this user is old enough to be my father and yet spends his/her time, apparently, scouring fanfiction.net to find people infringing on copyright without actually posting any of his/her own work on the website. When you’re 50+ years old and you’re picking on actual children (because even I, at 22, would be a child to you. You would have been around 30 when I was born) on the internet, there is a problem with you, not them. You are the one that needs a reality check. If you’re not at least 52 going on 53, than your argument of writing before the internet was dreamed up is invalid and you should do better research. (see Internet History).

The third user (2008) has been on the website for over a decade (why do you have a new profile if you’ve been on for over a decade? It’s 2014, not 2018. Either your math is way off or something happened to your old profile that you somehow don’t address even though it would make your argument much more logical). User argues that creators are generous enough to allow us to use their characters. Uh, no, the creators did not give exclusive rights to the fanfiction writers to borrow their characters. Unless you have a letter from the author stating such a thing, that author was not “generous enough to let you borrow the characters.” The author is turning a blind eye because it’s harmless fun. That is not express permission. It’s picking their battles. Sheesh. More talk about stealing work. Obviously you are more educated than the others of the group because you understand that fanfiction is, in fact, copyright infringement. It’s either that or you’re referencing something that makes no sense and everybody assumes you understand what copyright infringement actually is. Also, why are you being so negative? You hate everything on fanfiction.net, but still write and apparently read on fanfiction.net. I hate a lot of things on fanfiction.net and brought a lot of my stories to a different website. I do like that you address that fanfiction.net is already on shaky legal ground, however we are not the ones drawing attention to the obvious C.I. happening, your forum and group of web trolls are doing that, which I already mentioned to you in my “rant.” However, I disagree with your bold statement that people lack imagination. I can’t even argue that point because it’s just so ridiculous. Everybody has to start somewhere, and maybe they’re not fantastic writers yet, maybe they’re not perfect, maybe they’ve gone a little too far into the original work, but the entire purpose of writing fanfiction is for fun. Since fanfiction itself, as you have stated on your profile, could be brought down by one upset author because of copyright, telling others they’re infringing while you continue to write fanfiction is the pot calling the kettle black. You, however, are probably my favorite one in your group, if I was forced to pick a favorite, because you at least understand that basics of what I’m trying to say. How you conduct yourself on the website, however, makes me not like you quite as much. I’m aware you don’t care if I like you, I don’t care if you do, I’m just making a statement.

Oh look, another user (2011) who has no actual work of their own posted. Also, user is apparently a gamer. No reference to age or gender whatsoever (pretty smart move on the internet, I applaud you).  Their profile suggests they would probably be better off writing a screenplay than a novel since they’re “acting out” what happens, or what they think happens, when they report someone for plagiarism. Word to the wise, the only people who would faint after your incredibly worded and ridiculous mention that you’re reporting when you could just say you’re reporting are people who are lacking self-esteem and writing to improve or to have fun. They’re probably fairly young, so you’re really just finding the smaller kid on the playground and pushing them around. Not cool, he/she/it, not cool.

Aww! User five! I was really starting to like you a bit until the end! User five created a profile in 2013, but hasn’t written anything because inspiration hasn’t hit. Let that sink in. If you’re going to call people uncreative, at least have something to back up that you know what uncreative is. Also, a web troll calling people trolls. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were using irony to get a laugh. But I do know better. You aren’t creative enough to post your own stories, but you call others uncreative. You troll the website for copyright, but they’re the trolls for committing copyright infringement. For the love of God, please read the beginning of this post.

Final user (2008) begins his/her profile by CLEARLY STATING THEY ARE NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE STAFF. I would end my argument there, but they wrote more, so I’ll continue. Listen, buddy, if you’re not directly quoting him ("Zack, the apparent admin of the site) (as in quotation marks and a reference to the actual administrator), then you’re kind of setting yourself up for people to think you’re him, which is wrong. If you are quoting correctly, carry on, although I recommend you find a better way of doing it so there isn’t quite as much confusion. Also, you’re really just too stuck on this TOS stuff. Before web trolls like you, people actually enjoyed writing on the site and sometimes broke the rules (either because the situation called for it or they weren’t very well versed on the rules). Nobody ever had a fit until groups of self-righteous people decided to be holier than thou and get on their case about minor infractions, thus destroying the entire purpose of the author which is to write as a hobby. So, please understand this is why I, and others, don’t like you or your group. People like you have sucked the fun out of fanfiction writing and, for some, have entirely intimidated people to the point they don’t want to go back and write it anymore. It’s funny that I mentioned that prior to actually looking at the next part, which clearly shows you’ve harassed the shit out of a poor girl on this website for your own pleasure that she actually created new accounts to try to get the hell away from you. Are you proud of that? You really shouldn’t be. You’re not upholding anything. You’re just being a bully. I’ve referenced that several times now with your other moderators. There is no other word for it. You think you’re better than everybody else and have used your SELF-PROCLAIMED power to harass and attempt (succeed many times) to intimidate other writers. If you want the website to yourself, good luck. You’re not the first and certainly not the last group to attempt this, and you won’t succeed, just as they didn’t succeed. Nothing on this website, besides original characters created within a work, belongs to anybody. Again, it’s all copyright infringement. The copyright owners can sue the entire site for the work being on it. You people are seriously lacking basic knowledge. YOU ARE SUPPORTING COPYRIGHT BY POSTING ON THE SITE. You are also the only people drawing attention to the fact that everything is C.I. If you would stop thinking you’re right, and start looking at facts, you would CLEARLY understand what I’m saying and what I have been saying for the past month or so. Do everybody a favor and get over yourselves. You’re no better than anybody else.

If you enjoy writing fanfiction, but are finding the fun sucked out of it due to web trolls, let me know. I would be more than happy to provide you a list of websites where web trolls don’t try to intimidate you and you can go back to enjoying fanfiction writing.

Works Cited

Copyright Definitions. n.d. <http://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-definitions.html>.
Copyright Fair Use. n.d. 2014. <http://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl102.html>.
Copyright in Derivative Works and Compilations. n.d. <http://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ14.pdf>.

Internet History. 2004. <http://www.computerhistory.org/internet_history/>.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Three Worthless Years (1-5)

*This review was completed prior to the poll closing. Any review completed prior to the poll closing will have this message on it.*


Three Worthless Years

 LadyofSpain

 Twilight

 Summary: Bella meets Jake at CAP bootcamp.They hit it off and writing to her, he falls in love. She has a boyfriend, gets pregnant, and stops corresponding. He can't forget her even while in Iraq. 3 yrs later he's at her door demanding an explanation. Nommed for best AH story at JBNP 2012 Awards

 Rated: M

 Chapter 1

 So chapter one is basically a background. We learn Bella didn’t have many friends mainly due to her parents, especially Charlie, insisting that she come straight home from school to do her homework. Good grades were a must in her house growing up. Love was non-existent, in fact, Charlie made it perfectly clear to Bella not to expect romance in her life and that marriage was about having a companion and having children. That’s it. Her only friend was her cousin, Garry, who essentially introduced the Civil Air Patrol (which I assume is what CAP stands for) and Bella’s parents think it will help her broaden her horizon. The essential background was told quickly, but effectively.

 Chapter 2

 CAP-Civil Air Patrol. I was right!

 Bella and Garry appear to be young in this story.

 I assumed Garry was older than Bella…but I guess not.

 Bella can, by all legal means, drive. However, her father will not take her driving because she’s terrible at it.

 She meets Mike at this CAP place.

 CAP Camp.

 Bella absolutely HATES the place, but I think she stays because her parents want her to.

 Introducing Jacob Black. I see a spark.

 Your Jacob Black sounds INCREDIBLY sexy.

 Haha I love Bella talking like she did Jake a favor by dancing with him. Come on, we all know she totally wanted to.

 I like this flirting thing going on. It’s so casual, but obvious.

 The way that you write is….different. I mean that in a good way. You get through the scene quickly, without drawing out the tiny details, but you manage to hit every nail on the head. It’s effective, it’s quick, and it works.

 Jacob sounds like such a girl in this chapter, but I’ll let it slide because it was nerves.

 Chapter 3

 I’m going to make an assumption here, because I’m really good at doing that. I figure that James is probably doing the rockstar thing and sleeping around which is why he hasn’t had time to write Bella. Let’s see where this goes.

 "What's wrong with you? The last girl I said that to, had her panties off for me in a flash." SMH. Oh James…

 This makes my assumption near correct, but I’m surprised that James stayed with her after all of this. It sounds like a very casual relationship, like the only thing keeping them together is them saying they’re boyfriend and girlfriend.

 Ugh! I hate James more and more as I read this. What a jerk!

 I like that Mike is Bella’s best friend. It fits so well.

 I find that I get really jealous of Bella because every Jacob/Bella fic I’ve read has this smooth-talking, sweet, caring, loving Jacob in it. Of course, that’s not how he came across to me in the book, but that’s beside the point. So then I’m always saying things like ‘I want Jacob Black for my birthday’ (because my birthday is sooner than Christmas). At this point, I want like six different Jacob Black’s.

 “Are you engaged to him?” “No.” “Then no, relationships break up all the time.” Ha! I love this!

 How the heck is Bella not swooning over this guy?!

 Chapter 4

Day of the dance! So exciting!
Miss Sexy Legs! I love it!
My God I want your Jacob in my life! What a sexy sounding man!
This makes me feel bad about being single. It’s probably not because of the story, though. Probably just personal stuff.
Jacob’s totally going to make Bella believe in love!
I like reading the scene from different perspectives. It’s awesome.
Chapter 5
Oh snap! Jacob knows about her boyfriend. Well, I mean, he knows facts about her boyfriend and not just that she has a boyfriend. He’s known she’s had a boyfriend since chapter 3.
So Jake thinks with his heart and Bella thinks with her brain. I’m hoping Jake changes her mind about love. Seriously. Like I said in a lot of other reviews, love is a storyline I can follow as long as it’s not cheesy romance film.
Awww!!! At least he asked! What a gentleman!
Wow. That was crazy! DUMP JAMES, BELLA! KICK HIM TO THE CURB!
This is borderline sappy, which is odd because I HATE sappy, but it never crosses that line. It gets close, but never crosses over into sappy. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s like a perfect balance. It goes away from just being romantic, but not overboard. Does that make sense?
This was a fantastic place to leave off for the first review!

I love this so far! When I started reading it I wasn’t so sure how I would feel about it, but it’s grown on me. Good job!







Sunday, April 28, 2013

Broken Vow


Broken Vow
Wemmawriter
Glee
Summary: Will is a broken man after being jilted by Emma, the love of his life, at the altar. But where is she, and will she ever return to his loving arms again? An off-shot from the Glee episode 'I Do'.
Rated: T

Chapter 1
‘Emma Pillsbury had cried a bucket of regrets today.’ I like this!
This is so heart-wrenching to read that I almost feel like giving up and trying to pick up again tomorrow, but alas this must continue, and maybe I’ll even learn something from it.
That cab driver is a jerk! Good for Emma letting her fiery personality (redhead’s are known for their fierceness) take over to tell that guy off!
I’m going to sound like a real jerk (like the cab driver) but if she just ran out of her own wedding, so I guess I don’t understand what the hell she’s freaking out for. I’ve never really watched Glee (I’ve listened to plenty of songs from Glee, though) so maybe that’s why I don’t understand, but I would think that someone who just ran from her own wedding wouldn’t be sitting in the backseat of a cab talking about how she can’t believe she just did that. She should be jumping out of the cab and running right back in.
OH MY GOD! NO WAY!!
I think I get it now.
I’m pretty sure Will is the music teacher and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who finds him attractive. Right?
For a second I really believed she was going to do the right thing. Of course, I was wrong.
This is a really great start to your story, and I’m sure if this continues you’re going to have a lot of fans.
Chapter 2
This whole story is very sad, so far!
I don’t think it’s a good idea for Finn to confess that he kissed the groom’s fiancé. Just throwing that out there.
Okay, so it’s really hard to fathom being left at the alter by the person you love. As hard as I try, I can’t help but feel Will’s pain. It makes my heart hurt.
Awwww to have him blaming himself for the entire mess makes it even worse!
How in the world is Will going to go back to school after this mess? Wow.
It’s almost funny that Will’s parents were very supportive of the marriage and he stayed and Emma’s weren’t and she ran. I wonder if that has a part of it.
I like Will’s parents. They seem pretty cool.
Sue is pretty funny, even though she sounds like a nutcase right about now.
‘rehab for the ginger impaired.’ Lol best line!
Will’s going to search for Emma while the former glee club members party it up. Although, I kind of feel like there isn’t going to be much partying going on while they’re all worried about Will.
Worst. Ending. Ever. Just kidding, it was really good, but really hard to read. I just feel this overwhelming despair reading those words.

Nonetheless, great job. I’m excited to see where this goes!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

StarKiller-Clone Subject 1138: A New Beginning (1-4)


StarKiller - Clone Subject 1138: A New Beginning (1-4)

Theredstring

Star Wars 

Summary: Juno Eclipse and Master Rham Kota have urged Starkiller, the clone, to go into hiding and change his name. He ends up staying on Dantooine following the force's lead. Little did he realize that he would meet an orphaned teen, who would provide the answers he needed to fulfill his destiny.

Rated: K+



Star Wars Fic!! I literally know nothing about Star Wars (you may throw tomatos now) but let’s give it a shot, hey?

Chapter 1

Is it bad I’m reading this in an English accent? I’m not English, just to clarify. Sounds so smart and well worded!

So this guy, StarKiller, was like a spy (I think) and he was undercover and then he and this other person (Juno) put Darth Vader on trial, but Vader escaped.

Yeah, I don’t really know what I’m reading. I like how it sounds, though.

It’s probably because I’m not a Star Wars fan (another reason to disown me from fanfiction, I suppose) but I thought that StarKiller DIDN’T want to be known as Galen Marek?

I think I get it now. Nevermind.

So someone on this planet is a human…I think.

Master Mama! Heck yeah!

I love this story, even though I don’t understand very much of it. It’s well written, and even though it’s hard to follow for a non-fan it’s easy to become interested.

It’s so sad that they were split up. I’m single, and probably will be the rest of my life, so I lucked out in not having to feel that lol.

Chapter 2

This is awesome. I wish you wrote for fandoms I knew about because I’d be, like, your biggest fan. Just kidding, but I would be really into reading what you write.

Is Juno his girlfriend?

I like StarKiller. He seems pretty cool! He kind of seems like the cool, calm and collected friend everyone wants to have. Well, externally. I imagine internally he's the exact opposite.

And watching as that cool, calm, collected demeanor fades away. Very nice.

Whoa! Let me jump to a conclusion here, as I'm very good at doing. So Galen Marek is the one who loves Juno, but because StarKiller is a clone of Galen Marek he loves Juno. Right? That's a weird little love triangle, isn't it? The pieces are (slowly) coming together.

Okay....someone explain this 'force' thing to me? What the heck is it? (this has been explained to me).

Is a droid like a dog? Not like does it look like a dog, but like is it some sort of pet? What is it? (it has been explained, so for all you non-Star Wars fans it’s basically like a robot).

I think when I start seriously looking for a co-blogger I'm going to seriously hit up the Star Wars/Star Trek people. I need someone who understands this stuff.

Why do I feel like this review is complete nonsense? Oh right, because I have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, I hope it's mildly entertaining anyway...

I kind of imagine StarKiller as a robot at this point, even though I'm pretty positive that he is NOT a robot.

OoO sassy Proxy! Go to the dog house! Okay, that was a cheap joke.

Yeah StarKiller, you programmed him. It's your own fault. You may also look in the mirror and blame yourself for having a considerate and caring droid...whatever a droid is.

I take back what I said before about his cool, calm, collected-ness. He's such a rebel. The kind that really flies off the handle at just about everything. Gives me a proper understanding of 'looks can be deceiving.'

Chapter 3

WooHoo back to Silas!!!

New characters! Yeah!

'She immediately opened her hands and the angry red of her torn skin stood out against the dark dirt and numerous pebbles.' Wow. Incredible sentence. I really love the 'angry red' part. Very eye-catching or whatever.

I know nobody can take me seriously when I say 'or whatever'.

I smell flirting. Just kidding, you can't smell through a computer screen. But I wonder what all this back and forth banter REALLY means.

Awww I need to start getting my creative juices flowing to come up with a nickname for Silas and Adilla.

What. On. Earth. What is a Mandalorian?

Whoa crazy! Literally glued to the computer screen.

Run girl run!

Awww this is just so dang cute. If there's one thing I can follow in a story, it's love. It always manages to tie everything together and make everything else make sense.

No! Bez can't die! What the heck?!

My heart just literally shattered. My goodness, what are you doing to me??

I really feel a connection to this Adilla character. She takes center stage and holds your attention throughout. Honestly, the emotion in this scene is beyond words. I've read a lot of fantastic writing, and this is right up there with it. As a writer, I always have that special connection to my stories and my characters. As a reader, it takes lot for me to feel that same connection, but I feel like these writers pour their entire selves into every word they write, and I give them crazy props for throwing me into a world I don't understand and making it possible for me to get to a point where I feel comfortable voicing (typing) my opinion of their work into this review. I feel like if I jumped into another story that wasn't as well written as this, I would be completely lost and give up after the first paragraph.

And shot down. Strike one, Silas.

Shouldn't Silas be even a little bit concerned about another bounty hunter showing up at his house and killing him?

Rest, dear grasshopper. Totally irrelevant to this story, but I think I'm hilarious so there it shall be.

Chapter 4

Back to StarKiller. If I'm being honest, which I am, I feel like I have a deeper connection with the Silas/Adilla storyline than I do with the StarKiller storyline. I still think StarKiller is pretty awesome though.

I wonder if the young man in StarKiller's vision thing is Silas...hmmmmm.....

I'm not going to lie, I kind of want Proxy as a best friend. I'm just becoming a fan of everything and everyone in this story. Just throwing that out there.

Okay...what is he in? A cave or a space ship? Or is he in a space ship IN a cave? Oh, interesting.

He’s calling Juno! Way too excited about this…

It’s interesting that the tavern almost doubles as a hospital. I’m speaking in the real world, though, so maybe that wasn’t the point.

Poor Proxy L

I feel so bad for Juno and StarKiller. I hope when this is all over they can live happily ever after. Yes, I believe in fairy tales even when I’m reading a Star Wars fic.

I just read a whole paragraph of stuff I don’t understand, but I think Juno saved someone at some point.

And she flies. This chick is awesome!

Another sad face. Like I said before, love is always something I can relate to…except for the gaggy kind of love. That kind is just ugh.

Awww they’re going to meet in their special place. That’s so cute!

And he’s off!

The long awaited reunion. I’m practically jumping around over here. Seriously.

I feel like I’ve been deflated like a balloon. I was really hoping for some love and happiness, but it didn’t turn out that way. I wonder if this is how StarKiller and Juno are feeling.

So sad L

Alright, you guys have done such a fantastic job!  I still can’t believe you managed to get me hooked on a Star Wars story, so that says something in itself right?

Rating: 5/5

Side note: I’ve had the extreme pleasure of speaking with one of the writers in this group, and I have to say that he represented this group of writers perfectly. He was humble and down to earth, which is something I don’t find often with good writers (even bad writers) so I have to applaud the talent and personality of this particular member and, with him, the rest of Theredstring. You’re all such great writers and I hope you never give that up and that it takes you far. Bravo!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Caged Skylark (1-5)


Caged Skylark (1-5)
QuinnLark
Twilight
Summary: Journalist Bella Swan is assigned to work with the new guy, Jacob Black, on her own entertainment column. There is no way she can turn it down; it's the dream of a lifetime. However, Bella didn't bargain for the beautiful man she would work with, nor Edward—the sexy lead singer of the band they are to follow. Will she fly or come crashing down?
Rating: M

Chapter 1
Starting out in Bella’s POV.
Nice, strong opening paragraph. You caught the reader’s attention, now let’s see what you do with it.
There are a few categories that I throw fics into: intense, mild, eh and shoot me. An intense fic will grab my attention and will hold my attention as I read. It starts strong and stays strong. It throws me DIRECTLY into the world I’m reading about and gives me little chance and little desire to leave that world. An intense fic often makes me a little bit sad when it’s over because I have to leave a place I’ve fallen in love with. So far, this fic is intense.
I assume Rosalie and Bella are or at least were friends at some point.
‘My ridiculous blush bloomed in full pink splendor all over my face, the heat blazing my skin.’ Very nice!
‘I felt the strangest urge to reach out and lick them.’ A little bit odd but I’ll bite.
‘He stuck his huge paw of a hand right out to me.’ I see what you did there. Very clever.
Bella Swan in boss mode. I like it. I wonder what kind of crazy things are going to happen between Bella and Jacob….highly inappropriate for the boss to sleep with the employee don’t you think?
Bella is a power woman! You go girl!
It’s ironic that I also dance around my apartment singing into a hairbrush…usually when nobody else is home, though, since I don’t live alone.
Easy, Bella. Don’t get ahead of yourself, now.
I feel like Bella should refer to her boss as Captain Dickhead. But that’s probably just because I’m incredibly childish.
End chapter one. I’m really excited about this!
Chapter 2
Rosalie and Bella are friends…still.
Bella was in a sorority with Rosalie and Alice.
I have to say I like the creativeness behind Alice’s name. You’ve kept the character, yet changed her to a character you can almost call your own in your story. It’s unexpected, yet entirely beautiful.
Alice smokes and Bella sort of smokes. That’s quite a change.
ROYCE KING! You, my friend, are a genius!
Wow, I almost want to stop the review right here. I just have to applaud you for your creativeness. There have been so many unexpected turns that kind of tie into the storyline of Twilight (the original work) that you can completely call your own. I just….wow.
Haha Phil into cougars. Too funny.
So Bella joined a sorority because her mother insisted. Pretty sweet of her. I like that you stay true to the personalities of the characters despite the obvious difference between the book and this fic.
Twilight Moon. Nice.
JASPER! I’m really excited now…in case you couldn’t tell.
Starting the ships early, although I’m not sure how I feel about Alice eyeing up another guy when she’s supposed to be in a serious relationship.
Alice and Jasper are practically screwing each other.
Hmmm….so will it be Bella and Edward or Bella and Jacob?
Chapter 3
Edward’s POV.
Edward sounds very snobbish, but I’ll hold judgment until the end of the chapter, at least.
I like how Edward seems to have taken on the personality of Jacob in your fic. That is, of course, my personal opinion. Stephanie Meyer’s version of Jacob came across as very whiney and self-centered. It was always about him, whereas Edward seemed to be generous and considerate of others. It’s nice to see Edward feeling sorry for himself. It’s a change (are you sick of me saying that yet?)
Edward the poet. Something about that sounds incredibly attractive.
Wow. Just out of the blue he goes from self-pity to cocky. I like your Edward.
There is SO MUCH…how do I say this politely…”eye contact” in the club! This story continues to keep me interested, so sorry if this review turns out shorter than you expected. I just hate to stop reading.
Little does he know that he’s going to be seeing a lot more of the brunette he wants to be…I mean sleep with.
Oh Edward, you are in deep!
Chapter 4
Back to Bella’s POV.
By the end of the night I imagine Bella will be in Edward’s bed in the hotel. Just throwing that out there.
Oh, well I guess I was wrong. I was really expecting it, but I’m sure all the sexual tension between them is just build up for later on.
I don’t know who I’m pulling for in this. On one hand, Edward has the mysterious stranger thing going on for him but Jacob has the sneaky, ‘I’m going to pretend I’m not interested in you even though I am’, subtle flirting thing going on. We’ll have to see how this plays out.
Jessica the slut? Oh boy.
I like Bella casually flipping Mike off. Made me laugh.
Awww Jake’s mom died? That’s so sad!
Oh boy. Bella’s going to die if she has to be around Jake AND Edward!
Maybe now she’s going to go home with Edward.
Oh Bella. That’s so inappropriate!
Alright, Edward sounds sort of creepy in that part, but as long as Bella doesn’t mind I won’t go into detail about it.
“We shouldn’t be friends.” Yeah, probably not, Edward.
And now we find out that Edward, Jasper and Emmett are the band that Bella is going to be following around for a year!
Chapter 5
Edward’s POV. By the way, I’m putting these in here so you understand why I’m only referring to one person at a time.
Sexual tension, sexual tension, sexual tension.
Whoa! Weed? Never saw Edward smoking weed.
I wonder who this “woman” he referred to is.
BAD EDWARD! Smoking in a hotel in the first place is frowned upon, smoking weed in a hotel room is even worse.
You can’t tell me room service didn’t notice the smoke or smell. Blah.
Five at night? Wow, Edward really does sleep off his drunkenness.
I sense some hatred of the Hale family…
I just assumed he called her Isabella because he figured that’s what Bella was short for, but I see I was wrong.
Ha! Emmett and Rosalie! Should have seen that coming!
Edward reminds me of Christian Grey (coincidence? Absolutely not) in his ability to find information he wants.
Cocky Edward, stop shooting down Jacob’s mood.
Sorry, Edward, but there’s only one way to settle THAT awkwardness…

Still interested, so you’re doing something right. I think I’m going to be more into the weird love triangle than the journalism bit, but I’m excited to see where this goes. Bravo so far.