Dandelions in the Wind

Dandelions in the Wind

The Hunger Games

Butterflyflown

Summary: Katniss always held tight to her dandelions. Even when the memories of the wind would sneak up on her.

This is a preface. As such, it’s pretty short. This review will be no different.

I JUST watched The Hunger Games yesterday! I love that movie, and the books were freaking amazing!

I’ll be honest here, I’m not sure how I will feel about this. I’m pretty generous with iCarly and Victorious because they are kid’s shows and making the characters do anything even remotely adult like can’t go TOO wrong unless you suck at writing. The Hunger Games is so full of heaviness and emotion and everything awesome that I really think I’m going to be picky about the writing here.

Opening is awesome. It kind of freaks me out how much your writing has changed since the last time I read (prior to doing reviews and such). I’m glad you took the high road and decided to work on your writing. Your effort is definitely showing.

Where the hell is Peeta?

Not to burst your bubble, but isn’t a dandelion technically a weed?

Awww why is Peeta dead? That’s so sad!

When I first saw The Hunger Games I was totally team Katniss/Gale. Then I watched it all and changed my mind. Yeah, I’m a little bit of a traitor.

I hope you continue this. Like now.

Rating: 3/5

Choices, Change and Challenges (1-6)

Choices, Change and Challenges (chapters 1-6)

Chronicles of Narnia

DustLight126

Summary: Anna O'Brien is your average teenage girl with a love for the fictional realm of Narnia. But after a deadly encounter with a street gang sends her to her beloved world, she soon finds she has a greater part to play in the story than she could ever have imagined. Now she must help defend the world she has come to call home. And what of a certain soon to be King? Peter/OC

 

It has honestly been forever and a half since I saw CoN and I can assure you I’ve never read the books (if I like a movie, I can’t read the book because I know the movie will be complete crap compared to the book). So, this review might be a little bit random.

Anna is a gymnist! This excites me! I love gymnastics, it’s always so interesting to watch. Figure skating too. And cheerleading (I was a cheerleader). But I really do love gymnastics. As we progress through the first chapter, we learn that schoolwork has basically taken a backseat to gymnastics. Anybody involved in a sport definitely knows what that’s like.

You have great imagery in here. I love it. But having Bradley call her ‘little girl’ honestly makes me feel like he’s a creepy pedophile.

“Shut it, David, little girls should learn to respect their elders.” I love cocky people. They’re so funny and stupid.

‘I wasn’t even remotely interested in him anymore.’ This is a little confusing. Was she interested in him in the first place? Explain this interest. Besides the fear, was she interested in the things he was saying or planning on doing to her? Am I reading this wrong, or reading too far into it?

Holy shit! I definitely did not expect him to stab her! I thought maybe he’d beat her up or something, maybe rape her, but stab her? Wow.

Moment: I love Aslan. That is all.

That sucks. She died in people world at the hands of a monster. I wonder what’s going to happen to Bradley now? Is he going to be caught? Will we find out any of this throughout the story?

Okay, I’m confused again. Is this set IN the book or is it set in real life?

I really don’t know who would choose being dead in real life over living in Narnia. Is that really a choice?

Okay, so I guess it’s in the book AND in real life? I’m hoping I can keep up with this.

Okay, I love your choices for ‘said’. I really feel it’s important to use better descriptive words than ‘said’, ‘yelled’, ‘groaned’.

 

I love Lucy! Oh hey, that’s funny. And the Beavers are classic.

Oh look, a twist! THREE daughters of Eve? Very interesting. But Anna’s really going to blow her cover here if she’s not careful.

And she blew it. You weren’t supposed to talk about the book!

Stubborn, stubborn Peter. Don’t be so uptight, yo. You should honestly ask Anna how the book works so you can save yourself a lot of trouble. She’s a big blabbermouth, after all.

See, Anna. This is why you don’t tell them about the book. Now everything is going to be your fault. And you know Peter’s a stubborn buttface haha just kidding, he’s not. But to you he is.

 

I have a feeling they’re being hunted. That’s interesting. How did I not see this coming? Oh right, because it’s been forever and a half….

Alright, maybe I’m wrong but I really think the youngest should have gone first. But maybe not. Not sure what your mindset was there, so I won’t question it too much.

I see a hint of Peter/Anna romance here ;)

Just kiss and make up already. You know you love each other.

Awww. So sad. Why you gotta hurt the badger?

Peter, Peter the almighty leader. I feel really bad for Anna. It really must suck knowing what’s going to happen and when it’s going to happen.

Is Anna honestly that oblivious? How do his sisters see it and everyone else but not Anna?

“I wish I could say their bark was worse than their bite.” haha that’s awesome.

“Worst day of the year.” Lol I love this.

I never understood how humans could fit in a beaver or badger home. Maybe I just don’t believe in the magic of it all.

Yes, I LOVE all the questions in chapter 3 that I was asking from chapter 1! I do believe I will find out the answers to these questions!

Anna and Peter sitting in a tree….

Ohhh Bradley’s dad is an officer. Was this mentioned before and I missed it? That explains quite a bit. But is it enough to get him off for murder?

Kiss? Kiss! NO PETER! DAMN YOU!

 

I see Peter as the dad, Anna as the mom and Lucy as the baby J so cute

Alright Anna, let’s have a heart to heart. Even if you went back to the real world, you are dead. There is no more training, no more friends, no more mom. You’d esentially be a shell in the ground and you would likely end up in Heaven or whatever assuming you believe in that stuff. You would likely not be able to go back with Peter, Susan, Lucy and Ed. You’d either exist in Narnia, or not exist at all.

I like the relationship they’re all building. It’s very interesting to watch. It’s even more interesting seeing as Anna knows everything that’s going to happen and the others are oblivious. It surprises me that they’re not nagging her as much as I expected them too. If I was preparing for war or whatever and a person with me knew what was going to happen I would be begging to know.

Wait….would her phone work in Narnia? That would be an interesting turn of events. She’s supposed to be dead, but she can text or call her family back home from her phone…that would definitely freak me out.

No. More. Ice.

 

Ohhh the ice thing makes sense now. Duh.

Okay guys, a beaver isn’t going to weigh nearly as much as a human. I really should go rent this movie and watch it again so I can stop sounding like an idiot lol.

Sneaky little wolves huh?

You have a feeling, Anna? Don’t be so sassy. Keep your knowledge to yourself.

No more hugging or talking. Go kiss and be all lovey now. I demand it! I know Peter wants you, Anna. Don’t deny it. Don’t. Deny. It.

Alright, sweetie. Make sure you’re seperating your dialogue when it’s several people talking. For the most part it’s easy to follow, but sometimes, like in chapter five at the camp, it gets more difficult.

I sort of picture Anna played by Jennifer Lawrence with dark hair. Is that weird? Maybe it’s because of her being in The Hunger Games.

Way to go, Anna! You get to be the witch butt-kicker!

So a guardian is kind of like a fanfiction writer. When the original writer of the book/movie/show/whatever screws it up for us, we get to take the reigns and make it right again. This is especially true in my fandom: iCarly. Our ending was pathetic, we didn’t like it. I think the only thing we have agreed on, no matter what ship, is that the end product of such a great series was just a terrible, horrible, nasty thing. Also, us Seddie shippers were very disappointed. But in the fanfiction world we can pull the characters back where they belong and continue a story line that fits who they were in the first place and not what they became. So even if the writer of the originial work wants a change and is tired of how things are, we can keep the characters we love right where they belong and continue the story line the way it should be.

Let the training begin!

 

Anna’s life was stolen from her and she doesn’t want to take a life. It’s very…I don’t know the word. But it’s clever, even if that doesn’t make sense.

Don’t screw this up, Anna. Stick to the plan. You HAVE to fight the witch to keep the story you love intact.

DAMN IT! I can honestly tell you I was leaning toward the computer screen going ‘do it, do it already. Come on, stop stalling! Just kiss each other!’

Again, Peter and Anna sitting in a tree, apparantely never k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

Wolves suck. Big time.

Alright, I’m really excited about the next half of the story, but I have to keep things balanced and fair so I won’t be getting to that for a little bit. Regardless of my lack of memory, I still find this enjoyable and exciting. I can’t wait to see what happens when Anna has to face the witch.

You’ve done a nice job here, so far. My only suggestion to you, as I mentioned before, is that you keep your dialogue seperated. It does start to get confusing at chapter five.

No rating until the end of the story.

Residue

Residue

Bones

Dharmamonkey

Summary: The 1991 Gulf War left Booth a changed man in many ways. During a visit from his son Parker, Booth must once again face the recurrent effects of his experiences in Desert Storm, leading him to open up to his son for the very first time about what happened to him in Iraq.

I watched about five minutes of Bones the other day and then it got trumped by my niece waking up and us turning on kid’s shows for her, so I have no idea what Bones is about.

Good, strong opening line. It pulls the reader in and makes them interested in reading just what the heck the character is talking about. Kudos.

I have to tell you (since my sister’s boyfriend was playing Black Ops today) that I ALWAYS laugh at guys who get REALLY into video games. My ex boyfriend did and he didn’t understand why I wasn’t acting the same way he was when he played. Besides the fact that I suck at video games, they just don’t hold the same level of interest for me. It’s so spot on and perfect that Parker would be jumping all over the place. But let me tell you, I feel bad for the kid. I literally see him change from carefree kid to concerned adult in two sentences.

Of course, no parent wants their kids taking care of them so Booth will go and get his own stuff. I think that’s a very difficult situation to be in. Both of my parents are fine and fully functional, but I remember when my grandma was really sick and I helped take care of her. It’s scary to see things you’re not used to and to have the adults in your life become vulnerable. You always expect them to be superior and not have difficult things happen to them, so when they do you definitely don’t forget it.

I love the sentences in this fic. That sounds really stupid, but the wording and the flow really is amazing. I’m a little bit in awe of you (also a slight bit jealous). You’re doing a phenomenal job here.

I half expected Booth to say that he will explain later and that would be it. That, of course, makes no sense with the summary.

Alright! Story time! Totally kidding, this isn’t likely to be a happy story with a fairy tale ending.

“You’re awesome” from a 13 year old as a parent has got to be the coolest thing ever. I don’t think I complimented my parent’s very much as a teenager. I was kind of a brat.

Parker seems like a really smart kid. At some points he also seems much older than 13.

Wow. That was a paragraph I had to read very slowly to correctly say the words in it. I may have even gotten some of them wrong. It honestly made me sound smart for a second. Only for a second, though.

My favorite ending so far. It’s cute how Booth remembers when his kiddos were born and that’s how you chose to end it. I think after all the heaviness of what just happened the reader really needed something to lighten it up a bit. I loved this fic.

Rating: 4/5

Caught in Suspension

Caught in Suspension

Twilight

Wolfgirl1335

Summary: Jacob and Renesmee ride the train together every Monday morning. By a funny accident, they start talking. Jake works up his nerve to ask her out on a date. At first, she said no. Then she says yes! You could say they are caught in suspension.

Whoa. Freeze. What in the world? I’m going to be brutal on you for a minute, wolfgirl1335. I know for a FACT that you could have produced a much better opening paragraph than that. It was jumpy and blocky and it didn’t flow nicely at all. The next paragraph is MUCH better. I don’t know what the heck happened! Good job redeeming yourself though.

GINGER POWER! I really needed to throw that in there. Everyone knows red-heards are awesome! I love that Jake’s being sappy again but still joking and being a complete dork. That’s what I love about YOUR Jake. He’s totally dorky yet totally loveable (IMO).

First, Edward’s in advertising. Second, who DIDN’T think Nessie would be a daddy’s girl? I knew the second Bella said she was pregnant that after the whole shock of it and Edward being a little bit crazy he would totally be wrapped around that kid’s finger.

BAM! Okay, we already knew from the summary that Renesmee was going to say no to Jacob, but it doesn’t sting any less. I think it’s a very interesting way to go, however, seeing as the other two fics I’ve reviewed of yours Jake’s gotten the girl right away.

Alright, I’ll be honest here. I would have LOVED to see a little more emotion in the dialogue where Renesmee is explaining why she won’t go out with Jake and perhaps not seen the promise she made to eventually go out with him. I think leaving him hanging like that would have been awesome. Just an explanation, some nervousness and hesitation and then BAM out of the blue she asks if he wants to have lunch or something. That, of course, is me being picky.

Change of P.O.V.

Oh Nessie, of course Jake isn’t a dirt bag. He’s Jacob Black. Not just ANY Jacob Black…but wolfgirl1335’s Jacob Black. The most gentlemanish gentleman of all. Of course now I’m feeling hopeless because I don’t know ANYTHING about cars and I will never land a Jacob Black.

Okay, so Jacob is 25 or older. How old is Nessie technically? Assuming we’re outside of canon where she would be considerably younger (17 years?) than Jake, she could easily be 25+ like him.

*cough*TaylorSwiftLyrics*cough* Yeah. I see what you did there.

Renesmee is at least 21.

Alright, Jake and Nessie history lesson. First, Nessie’s a nanny. Jake has longer relationships than Renesmee. Either Jasper and Alice or Rosalie and Emmet moved to Seattle. Edward and I’m assuming Bella have been married for 20 years which means that they had Renesmee before they got married.

Jake is too funny at the bar. Sorry, but he really is.

The one thing I hate about dates is the awkwardness. It’s awkward trying to get to know somebody, it’s awkward when they insist on being a gentleman and refuse your money. It’s awkward when the date is over and you don’t know whether to kiss them or just get inside as quickly as possible. I really hate dates.

Classy, Jake. Text message?

Renesmee is so quick to jump in bed with Jake. It always amuses me. No hesitation at all.

Okay, I can’t comment too much on the sex scene (for the most part, I’m terrible at reviewing them). But the last line was PERFECT. Amazing.

Rating 3/5

Victorious Hearts A Fire (Chapters 1-5)

Victorious Hearts A Fire (1-5)

Victorious

Irshgirl

Summary: Cat and robbie's new relationship is tested over the summer as they face unexpected hurdles and a new bump in the road

This is a sequel so check out Victorious Hearts Don't Lie before reading this fic. 

First chapter we learn Robbie is a tutor (still a tutor?) for a North Ridge girl. I wonder if Cat is insecure about this?

We’re going to the beach! Yes! This reminds me of that time I texted my sister and asked her if she wanted to go swimming on Sunday. She said she didn’t have anything for my niece. That answer was a ‘no.’ Okay, this was like an hour ago. Anyway, I’d be a little hesitant to get back into that RV to go to the beach after what happened last time. Apparently this time they are fine.

Silly Beck, assuming Jade was going to help Tori and Cat. You goofball. Although, I love that Beck and Jade are going to go surfing together. They’re so cute (Team Bade!).

Cat is never without her phone. Robbie’s not there, so she has to text him. I think it’s cute, but I also think it’s a little crazy. Then again, nobody accused Cat of being sane. However, I don’t like how bossy Tori seems. Just let the girl do what she wants.

 There are a lot of sentences in here that could have been grouped together into a paragraph. One thing I would like to encourage you to do, irshgirl, is decide which sentences can be grouped together. I feel like you did a much better job of this in the chapters to come (I’m writing about chapter one last because I started this on my laptop and I don’t have it right now). But I just wanted to mention it once for you to watch for in the future.

 Andre’s being a huge jerk. We know you and Tori broke up! You don’t have to rub it in! I enjoy Cat being innocent though and not understanding that Tori was being sarcastic. Still don’t know how I feel about Tori.

Introducing the iCarly characters into this. Sam used her magical (*cough*illegal*cough*) powers to get 

Freddie into Galaxy Con and had even pulled a few strings so he could meet the almighty Nug Nug. Freddie talks Sam into getting a burger for the time being (she’s dying of starvation don’t you know. That corn dog was hours ago) because Robbie invited them to the beach. Sam’s obviously less than thrilled. She and Cat don’t get along. Obviously. They are nothing alike. Cat is everything Sam hates.

 More of Andre missing Tori. Make a move, bro!

 Robbie surprises Cat on the beach. Super cute. They go swimming. Jade’s little comment about jellyfish and the color pink cracked me up. Perfect Jade. You are nailing these characters.

 Robbie and Freddie are chatting about Galaxy Con while Sam pretends to be nice to Cat (a compliment amidst a line of insults doesn’t exactly qualify as nice).

Way to go, Jade. You probably weren’t supposed to mention what you did to Rex. Just saying.

Okay, so this is where the festival comes up. They’re going to try to go together. Surprisingly, Jade has basically invited everybody and given them things they can do. Act, lights, costumes. It was very un-Jade of her. Then again, this is her play and she wants it to work well, and she knows these people are going to do whatever she says. Better them than trying to find some other people to do it.

The iCarly team is doing a skit too. Is this competition? I’m now very curious about this.

 Robbie, Cat, Freddie and Sam run into one of the guys Cat partied with the last time they went to the beach in the RV. Robbie’s jealousy is so obvious, I’m surprised he didn’t just tell the guy to eff off.

Now they’re all leaving the beach. Sam and Freddie already took off because Sam can’t handle more than a few brief moments of Cat. I’ll let you make your own assumptions about that (hint: Sam and Cat ring a bell anyone?)

Okay so chapter 2 starts out and Cat’s trying to be stubborn, insisting she can buy Robbie anything she wants to buy him and he can’t do anything about it. Except Cat isn’t really stubborn and if Robbie pouted at her she’d probably just apologize and cry until he told her everything was fine. Regardless, it’s cute.

Okay, I love how mean Jade is, but I LOVE the softer side of her too. The side that tolerates Cat’s craziness. Whenever I see this side of her in fics I smile because it’s so perfect. There always has to be balance between characters. A mean character surely can’t always be mean and a pushover can’t always be a pushover. There are several layers to a human being. Don’t believe me? Ask TheWrtrInMe (POSSE SHOUTOUT!). She tells me daily I’m only scratching the surface.

 I wonder if Cat’s brother is the same Steven from iParty with Victorious. Is there a strange twist in the future that reveals her brother as cheater, cheater pumpkin eater? I guess I’ll just have to read to find out.

While I love Cat’s full first name, I’m confused as to why her mother calls her by it constantly instead of when she’s just in trouble (like my mom does to me). Is there a reason for that, or am I reading too far into this? Maybe I’ll get some answers later.

 Steven being inappropriate? Is that a hint? Hmmm….

 “Cat’s nutty in the noggin’ even though this scene is really sad I can’t help but laugh. I just imagine Cat saying it in her Cat voice and I can’t help it.

Let me take a moment to dive further into this fic. I really feel like sometimes Cat feels alone, like nobody wants her, because I think a lot of attention needs to go to her brother. I also think it’s really difficult for 

Cat’s parents to find the balance no matter how hard they try. I think Cat’s endlessly happy demeanor is really just a cover for how she really feels. She’s got this big brother who is supposed to love her and protect her, but he can’t control himself so he’s not the big brother she wishes he was and she’s got her parents who are so busy trying to help their son that Cat kind of gets pushed into the corner.

What exactly is a watery smile?

 Okay, unlike Dan Schneider who created iCarly and Victorious (the two shows this fic is based on…iCarly loosely) the author of this fanfiction piece insists on parents being…well….PARENTS! It’s nice to see the adults in a parenting way and not in a carefree, do what you want I don’t care way. Insist on that chaperone, Mrs. Valentine.

 Okay, the scene just changed without warning. No break. Nothing. It just went from Cat and her mom one sentence to Trina in the next.

 I’m still in awe of how this author can hit all the characters perfectly. Way to go!

 Trina is REALLY hard on her mom. I love it. Even though Trina is a stuck up bitch who thinks too highly of herself anyway, she really stepped up in this fic.

Another thing I would like to encourage you to do, irshgirl, is find a way to separate your scenes. This is my second time reading this (although it kind of seems like my first because it’s been so long) and I’m still getting confused as to what’s going on.

 I like how Gibby being attentive to Carly weirds her out. This is supposed to be the queen of flirting girls (even worse than Tori *gasp*) and she doesn’t get that Gibby’s into her? Oh, Carly.

Okay, so Trina just applied for a job as a model for none other than Spencer Shay. Honestly, this girl has got crazy good luck. Looks like she just found herself a sugar daddy. I mean, if Spencer was rich and everything.

 Like I said before, I love the parenting going on in this fic. I love it even more now that Mr. Vega put his foot down and said ‘listen, Trina goes with you guys or you don’t go at all.’

While I love Jade as the mean girl, I really feel like she went overboard talking about Cat. It’s a tough time for Cat right now, so of course she’s a mess. I’m just glad Jade said that in the privacy of Beck’s RV instead of right in front of Cat.

Cabbie. Bade. ‘Nuff said.

I’m really starting to find Tori annoying. It’s like she’s always there, always being pushy. First of all, what in the world does she think she’s doing crossing Jade? Clearly if they didn’t answer the door they are busy and/or have no interest in hanging out with you. And then for her to run her mouth off to Jade and just be annoying. I think Robbie’s got it covered with Cat. He can take care of her. He is her boyfriend after all. 

And she gets more annoying as the scene goes on with her basically pushing her way into Cat’s house and all but forcing Cat to discuss the situation with her brother. I will, however, give Tori the benefit of the doubt because she’s also going through some pretty tough shit. I think she’s just too focused on the issues in her own life and she’s not seeing the issues in others. Divorce is really difficult, which I understand first hand, but throw in one of your parents cheating and it’s a while different situation. 

 Chapter 3 held all of the best Cabbie moments so far. Robbie is so loving and attentive to Cat. This couple is just perfect together.

I love that Andre and Tori finally talked and REALLY opened up about the Bori kiss. I think it was important for them to do that in order to move on. My favorite part of that scene, though, was when Tori’s mom invited Andre in for dinner. After last week’s episode I can’t help but laugh about that.

 I honestly believe Jade is nervous about putting this play on, but she refuses to show it. Even as a fictional character, Jade is a good writer. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when they finally put on the production at the festival. I also think it’s really great that Sikowitz put in a good word for her.

 Cheater Steven is mentioned briefly in chapter 5. I still have my hunches about this.

 In Carly’s defense, she doesn’t know Robbie and Cat are together (yet). For that I’ll let it pass. But her flirting with Robbie really bothered me. I kind of feel like Carly always gets what she wants and that makes me nervous. I know Robbie loves Cat, but I don’t know that that’s going to stop Carly from trying. I especially love jealous Cat. It’s about the most human I’ve seen her so far. I think it’s healthy to have a little bit of jealousy. You can’t always be secure and comfortable.

 ‘I’m not Jewish or a princess, Robbie.’ Love it.

The issue of the guys fawning over Tori is brought up. I think a lot of the time they do without trying to. They think they’re being friendly and the girls disagree. I feel like this is going to be a bigger issue in the chapters to come.

 I also think that Tori and Andre just need to sort out their shit already and get back together. Can we say Tandre anyone?

No rating yet since this is a multi-chap and I'm not finished yet. 

Have a fanfiction story you want reviewed? E-mail the link to fanfiction.revi3ws@gmail.com. Happy Writing! Follow me on twitter! @FFRevi3ws.

The Impossible

The Impossible

iCarly

butterflyflown

Summary: That one word that could freeze your very soul. Make you see things. Make you feel things. Make you want things you've never have before..it was The Impossible. Rated M for lemon. Seddie.

Whoa. Sam nervous? That’s crazy talk! Just kidding, I think it’s pretty awesome. She is human after all.

I’m going to be honest here and say that if I was sitting next to my boyfriend talking about sleeping with him (maybe for the first time) and he was totally okay with having sex with me after I’m CRYING I would be a little worried. Remember that this is Sam Puckett. She hardly ever cries. She’s tough and brave and not girly. So for her to cry in front of Freddie really has significance. I’m going to read through the end before I pass judgment on this.

Okay, just by reading through the next paragraph I understand and respect Freddie’s stand on this. He clearly loves her, she clearly loves him. Reading through Sam basically saying he’s the only person she would allow herself to be vulnerable around and simply because he had given her love that she protects with everything she has really makes it make sense.

Dear Sam, I’ve also pictured Freddie shirtless. You’re not alone, girl.

There’s nothing like being comfortable with the guy you’re about to have sex with. The ability to joke and laugh and have fun while you’re with them…no matter what you’re doing…is something I will always admire.

Always the gentleman, Freddie asks for permission. Of course, being complete opposites has its drawbacks. Sam literally makes me laugh throughout this. Ever so impatient.  I also love that she’s just as immature as me (I mean, we all know DS based Sam off of me but he really got it right). Laugh away, Sam Puckett, laugh away.

"You too…ah, you too." I’ll just be honest here. I thought Freddie was sneezing. Totally had to go back and read it again.
Very sweet. Unlike some other fanfics where they’re just going at it like a couple of rabbits this one really took the time to explore the emotional side of sex. It’s a HUGE improvement from other pieces I’ve read from you.

Rating: 4/5

Have a fanfiction story you want reviewed? E-mail the link to fanfiction.revi3ws@gmail.com. Happy Writing! Follow me on twitter! @FFRevi3ws.

Remember Remember

Remember Remember (AO3)

James Bond/Skyfall

BouncyBrittonie

Summary:  He remembered dancing. How it felt like gliding on clouds, while he was guided by James’ expert hands and the soft rumble of his voice in his ear. He could remember James trembling beneath his hands, he braved a look at the injury on his shoulder and all he could see was red. And he could remember Eve’s soothing hands over his tired face, whispering words of calm in a voice that seemed so magical.

Bear with me, as I’m not familiar with this fandom. I’m starting to believe it doesn’t matter, though, as the summary has really made me feel like I am. Good job to you, BouncyBrittonie, for creating an awesome summary that catches the interest of your reader.

Wow.

‘As the downpour from the deliciously large shower head continued to beat down around him, he was enveloped in the simple roar of it.’ The wording in this story is remarkable. I honestly don’t even know what to say about it.  

There’s this awkward white space that made me nervous for a second. I was like ‘please, don’t tell me this is the entire story.’ Don’t worry, it’s not. Thankfully.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m writing a review here. If I didn’t, I’d be lost in this fic until the very end. There is so much deep, perfect emotion going on in here that it’s very easy to get sucked into it and lose focus of other things around you.

Wow and no are two words I’m likely to use throughout this review. Honestly. It was so deep and pure and perfect with James and Q in love (and trust me, guys, this kind of writing isn’t just about a quick fuck to get it over with) and then the stupid bad guys had to come in and ruin it all (insert childish five year old pout here). Honestly, I could hear Q screaming as they’re pulling James away from him.

More awkward white space. I believe this is the author’s way of separating scenes. We all have them. I use an X, others use dots. To each their own.

I’m a little bit confused as to who is talking, who is being touched, who is doing anything at the beginning of this next scene. Does James have the gun to his head? Is James the one being touched, the one shouting out?

‘black as sin.’ BOMB! I love this.

Wait…I think Q is the one that the guy is touching and James got whacked with the gun for daring to tell the guy to keep his hands off James’ man. Got it. Awesome.

“But any funny business, and I’ll make you scream while your boyfriend watches.”

“… Pain or pleasure?” Do I sense sarcasm? I loved this. It made me laugh.

OUCH! I’m surprised that burn didn’t kill him! Then again, I’m really dramatic so I would think a cufflink burn would kill somebody. I’M SO READY FOR THE ACTION!

Damn it mr. bad guy. Can’t you let us enjoy our James/Q experience? Eff you very much, sir.

I honestly couldn’t tell you guys how much I’m enjoying this. I LOVE action. I’m almost obsessed with it. I’m so lost in this fic that I have to force myself to stop reading to write anything about it. The words used in here are insane! You almost don’t notice that they’re in there, but they have a huge impact on the sentence and how it’s read that if they were missing you would be able to tell.

Thank. God. Honestly, if James would have died I would have been devastated. He and Q are just too cute together. I don’t want to see this oneshot end. Seriously. I’m being really dramatic and sappy here, but I don’t even care at this point. I don’t even know these characters (technically) but I really feel like I do. This author has given me insight into their lives and personalities and it makes me more interested in the Skyfall/James Bond fandom. Q is so damn cute with his crying and loving and raw emotion and James is just….ahhh!

Oh James Bond….what I would do for you….

I’m going to die! I have no idea how others haven’t reading this. There’s so much love and action and excitement! Ahh!!

I sense sex coming up. And yes, Q, I agree. Skip the dinner. Come on, Bond.

Normally I would be cringing at this sex scene (honestly, I am just a little bit) because guy/guy just isn’t something I’m into. But the wording is really good and the author isn’t all ‘James shoved his dick in Q’s ass.’ *shudder* anybody else disturbed by that?

I really think it’s adorable that they’re having a conversation while they’re having sex with each other. The level of comfort there is amazing. And James insecurities laid out on the table were a great touch. And OH MY GOD HE PROPOSED IN THE SHOWER! I just used the word ‘and’ a lot, but oh well. Things are starting to calm down a bit as we’re reaching the end.

I GET THE CHAIN NOW!

I want a straight James Bond. Seriously. You and WolfGirl1335 should team up to create real life versions of the characters you write.

The fact that you have been away from fanfiction for 8 years and you come back with THIS is incredible! Okay, now I have to go look up the pictures of these guys.

Awww Q looks like a cute little nerd! Awww!!! Love it

Is it too late to mention that some of your tags are hilarious?

Alright…you know what it’s time for.

Rating: 5/5

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Have a fanfiction story you want reviewed? E-mail the link to fanfiction.revi3ws@gmail.com. Happy Writing! Follow me on twitter! @FFRevi3ws.

Begin Again

Begin Again

Twilight

WolfGirl1335

Summary: Nessie and Bella are roommates in college. After a bad breakup, Bella convinces Nessie to go with her to a party held by another student. There, Nessie meets Jacob, a friend from Forks. That is when her love life begins again!

Mind. Blown.

Calling Taylor Swift and Twilight fans! I promise, you will NOT be disappointed with this fic! LOOK AT THE TITLE! Taylor Swift is my favorite singer, so of course I’m already in love with this. But the title is only the beginning. This fic is littered with Taylor Swift lyric references. Some of them are just right in your face and others are subtle. Either way, this author has managed to tie the two together without making it awkward or unreadable and she gets mad props for that!

I LOVE when a story starts with dialogue. I find that I start a lot of scenes with dialogue. I love that the reader is being pulled RIGHT INTO the middle of the action and when executed properly they know exactly where they are, what the characters are doing and usually how it’s going to end up. It’s exciting. She has some really great lines in here, too, which just adds so much to the fic itself.

I’m only halfway through the dialogue in the beginning and already loving this. A good, strong beginning is exactly what you need to pull people in and this author has achieved that. Some people (including myself) struggle with capturing the attention of the reader from the get-go, but I’ve been sucked in now (and hey, I don’t mind).

This is the start of the Taylor Swift lyric references! Let me know how many you find and we can compare notes! Speaking of Taylor, is it possible to be more interested in this? I promise, you put T-Swift lyric references in your fic I’ll probably read it through the end, even if it sucks (which this doesn’t…no worries wolfgirl1335).

So Bella and Nessie are at a party and everyone is getting drunk or high. I instantly think of contact high. Although I will say that I’m a little disappointed not to have Sam mentioned again, especially since it’s his party. He’s probably off getting laid, though, so it’s cool.

Now we’re getting some Jacob Black action. I’ll be honest here, when I first read the books I really hated Jake. He was too whiny for me and I just couldn’t handle him constantly chasing after Bella when she clearly had no interest in him. I didn’t like Bella much either. I really felt like she could have backed off with the ‘needing Jacob’ thing. I was team nobody, because I had no interest in Edward. Anyway, then the movie came out and I was team Taylor because, let’s be honest here, he’s gorgeous.

Jacob redeems himself in this fic and I don’t know if it’s because he’s not trying to get Bella or if it’s because he’s such a damn sweetheart. Either way, he’s getting major points from me.

The whole next scene is a reference to the song ‘Begin Again’ by Taylor Swift. If you didn’t know this was coming I’m really scared for you. I didn’t know how it would happen or the circumstances surrounding it, but I highly expected this reference to be in here. I would have been disappointed if it wasn’t, and this review probably would have went much differently.

In my last review for WolfGirl1335, I mentioned being kept on my toes. She delivered again. There are some twists in here I wouldn’t have expected. I wasn’t sure who Nessie’s parents were going to be (since Bella is her roommate and Edward is a guy Bella crushes on), so having Esme and Carlisle as her parents was a nice twist. Very interesting. And let me mention, once more, how jealous I am of Nessie. Come on, WolfGirl1335, can’t you invent a machine to create your Jacob Black for us lonely girls? No? Well, I tried.

A very quick reference to the book that REALLY pulls it all together. Perfect!

Just when I thought things were winding down she throws another twist into the fic. Good job, Jake. Good job. Congratulations. I’m happy for you, I really am. I just wish I was Nessie at this point…sort of. I don’t want to give this twist away (no, it’s not that they have sex) so I’m keeping it to myself. You’ll have to read the fic to see what I’m talking about ;).

The ending…a TAD bit rushed but still filled with the details you need to know. I’m impressed. Any Nessie/Jake fans out there are going to LOVE it.

Rating: 4/5

Have a fanfiction story you want reviewed? E-mail the link to fanfiction.revi3ws@gmail.com. Happy Writing! Follow me on twitter! @FFRevi3ws.

I Won't Give Up

I Won’t Give Up

Twilight

WolfGirl1335

Summary:  Jake gets shot, Nessie rushes to his side in the hospital. She flashes back to when they first met. They are both dating other people at the time. After pretty bad breakups for both of them, it brings Jake and Nessie closer. Neither one will give up their happiness

Straight away this fic catches my interest simply because of the title. I Won’t Give Up is one of my favorite songs. This author doesn’t beat around the bush and the first paragraph really sets the stage for the rest of the story. There is no random chattering that doesn’t pertain to what’s going on. I got nervous reading the first paragraph (let’s face it…nobody wants us to think of Taylor Lautner…I mean Jake…dying).

One of my favorite moments after this first paragraph is when Nessie, Sam, Paul and Jared are waiting in the hospital and the doctor approaches. First, picture Nessie standing with these three men. Now imagine them introducing themselves. Sergeant, detective, officer, wife. I laughed a little bit imagining these powerful people with Nessie.

We learn that Jake is okay (for the time being) and he is being brought into a room. I assume he’s in the ICU because only one person is allowed to go in by him at a time. Of course, Nessie goes in and as she’s sitting with him, finally giving into her stress and fear, she remembers when they met. Get ready for lots of cuteness!

Think: Princess Nessie. The whole following scene is almost like a fairy tale. Jake and Nessie meet at the Cadet Academy Ball where Jake is with his girlfriend, Madison, and Nessie is with her boyfriend, Adam. But wait…this is NOT a love at first sight moment! This makes it SO MUCH better. The only thing that confuses me a slight bit is when Jake says she’s beautiful and Adam tells her Jake thinks he’s a comedian. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be insulting or not. Nessie laughs, though, so I’m assuming all is good.

This is where things start getting a little mixed up. Everything seems to be moving by so fast and I don’t really get a glimpse into other occasions (like the academy graduation), but that could easily be because nothing big happened that would add to the story. I would have loved to see more from the fight that broke Nessie and Adam up instead of a conversation leading to a mutual agreement, but I don’t get a good read of Nessie in either the book or the movie, so she could very well be a level headed girl who doesn’t fight.

Second favorite part: Edward calling her Loch Ness. I can just see Bella rolling her eyes at this.

Madison cheats on Jake (what?! Really?! Eff you, Madison!). Drunk Jake always makes me happy (and also reminds me of the parody video by Hillywood). It’s really nice to see Jake and Nessie taking things slow all while Jake treats her like a princess and takes her out in limos. Is anybody else jealous of this? I am (just a little bit).

‘"I love you too Jacob Black. I won't give up on us," I promise’ even though I’m not a sappy (romantic) person I really love this line. It just lit up my heart.

My heart just BROKE when they lost their first baby girl! But realistically, she would have been much bigger than 2 pounds at Nessie’s 7 month check-up. Not such a big deal, I just know this because I have a niece and I live with my sister so I know A LOT more about baby-ness than I did before.

Guaran-fucking-tee. Love it. Breaking up a word to add a swear word is always a good thing with me.  

I love when Jake’s going to be a daddy, but he already is one to baby girl number one (Hope Elizabeth! Shoutout!). I love that it just happens like BAM! I wasn’t expecting it. Then again, I wasn’t expecting a lot of things that happened in the story. That’s the best…being kept on your toes. It makes it exciting. Although I believe he would be in the hospital much longer (and be on bed rest much longer as well) I’m not too bothered by it because I’m still excited about the second baby.

I LOVE that they name their second after her mother. It really ties everything together. It’s also great knowing that they’re happy and together and doing well. The ending felt a little bit rushed and I would have loved to see this as a multi-chapter. It works as a oneshot, but I would have loved to read a little bit more detail on some things. Regardless I enjoyed this oneshot.

Rating: 3/5

Have a fanfiction story you want reviewed? E-mail the link to fanfiction.revi3ws@gmail.com. Happy Writing! Follow me on twitter! @FFRevi3ws.

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I've always loved lengthy, thought out reviews and so when the idea came to me to create a blog to provide them I was more than excited. Who doesn't love reviews?

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