Broken Vow

Broken Vow

Wemmawriter

Glee

Summary: Will is a broken man after being jilted by Emma, the love of his life, at the altar. But where is she, and will she ever return to his loving arms again? An off-shot from the Glee episode 'I Do'.

Rated: T

Chapter 1

‘Emma Pillsbury had cried a bucket of regrets today.’ I like this!

This is so heart-wrenching to read that I almost feel like giving up and trying to pick up again tomorrow, but alas this must continue, and maybe I’ll even learn something from it.

That cab driver is a jerk! Good for Emma letting her fiery personality (redhead’s are known for their fierceness) take over to tell that guy off!

I’m going to sound like a real jerk (like the cab driver) but if she just ran out of her own wedding, so I guess I don’t understand what the hell she’s freaking out for. I’ve never really watched Glee (I’ve listened to plenty of songs from Glee, though) so maybe that’s why I don’t understand, but I would think that someone who just ran from her own wedding wouldn’t be sitting in the backseat of a cab talking about how she can’t believe she just did that. She should be jumping out of the cab and running right back in.

OH MY GOD! NO WAY!!

I think I get it now.

I’m pretty sure Will is the music teacher and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who finds him attractive. Right?

For a second I really believed she was going to do the right thing. Of course, I was wrong.

This is a really great start to your story, and I’m sure if this continues you’re going to have a lot of fans.

Chapter 2

This whole story is very sad, so far!

I don’t think it’s a good idea for Finn to confess that he kissed the groom’s fiancé. Just throwing that out there.

Okay, so it’s really hard to fathom being left at the alter by the person you love. As hard as I try, I can’t help but feel Will’s pain. It makes my heart hurt.

Awwww to have him blaming himself for the entire mess makes it even worse!

How in the world is Will going to go back to school after this mess? Wow.

It’s almost funny that Will’s parents were very supportive of the marriage and he stayed and Emma’s weren’t and she ran. I wonder if that has a part of it.

I like Will’s parents. They seem pretty cool.

Sue is pretty funny, even though she sounds like a nutcase right about now.

‘rehab for the ginger impaired.’ Lol best line!

Will’s going to search for Emma while the former glee club members party it up. Although, I kind of feel like there isn’t going to be much partying going on while they’re all worried about Will.

Worst. Ending. Ever. Just kidding, it was really good, but really hard to read. I just feel this overwhelming despair reading those words.

Nonetheless, great job. I’m excited to see where this goes!

StarKiller-Clone Subject 1138: A New Beginning (1-4)

StarKiller - Clone Subject 1138: A New Beginning (1-4)

Theredstring

Star Wars 

Summary: Juno Eclipse and Master Rham Kota have urged Starkiller, the clone, to go into hiding and change his name. He ends up staying on Dantooine following the force's lead. Little did he realize that he would meet an orphaned teen, who would provide the answers he needed to fulfill his destiny.

Rated: K+

Star Wars Fic!! I literally know nothing about Star Wars (you may throw tomatos now) but let’s give it a shot, hey?

Chapter 1

Is it bad I’m reading this in an English accent? I’m not English, just to clarify. Sounds so smart and well worded!

So this guy, StarKiller, was like a spy (I think) and he was undercover and then he and this other person (Juno) put Darth Vader on trial, but Vader escaped.

Yeah, I don’t really know what I’m reading. I like how it sounds, though.

It’s probably because I’m not a Star Wars fan (another reason to disown me from fanfiction, I suppose) but I thought that StarKiller DIDN’T want to be known as Galen Marek?

I think I get it now. Nevermind.

So someone on this planet is a human…I think.

Master Mama! Heck yeah!

I love this story, even though I don’t understand very much of it. It’s well written, and even though it’s hard to follow for a non-fan it’s easy to become interested.

It’s so sad that they were split up. I’m single, and probably will be the rest of my life, so I lucked out in not having to feel that lol.

Chapter 2

This is awesome. I wish you wrote for fandoms I knew about because I’d be, like, your biggest fan. Just kidding, but I would be really into reading what you write.

Is Juno his girlfriend?

I like StarKiller. He seems pretty cool! He kind of seems like the cool, calm and collected friend everyone wants to have. Well, externally. I imagine internally he's the exact opposite.

And watching as that cool, calm, collected demeanor fades away. Very nice.

Whoa! Let me jump to a conclusion here, as I'm very good at doing. So Galen Marek is the one who loves Juno, but because StarKiller is a clone of Galen Marek he loves Juno. Right? That's a weird little love triangle, isn't it? The pieces are (slowly) coming together.

Okay....someone explain this 'force' thing to me? What the heck is it? (this has been explained to me).

Is a droid like a dog? Not like does it look like a dog, but like is it some sort of pet? What is it? (it has been explained, so for all you non-Star Wars fans it’s basically like a robot).

I think when I start seriously looking for a co-blogger I'm going to seriously hit up the Star Wars/Star Trek people. I need someone who understands this stuff.

Why do I feel like this review is complete nonsense? Oh right, because I have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, I hope it's mildly entertaining anyway...

I kind of imagine StarKiller as a robot at this point, even though I'm pretty positive that he is NOT a robot.

OoO sassy Proxy! Go to the dog house! Okay, that was a cheap joke.

Yeah StarKiller, you programmed him. It's your own fault. You may also look in the mirror and blame yourself for having a considerate and caring droid...whatever a droid is.

I take back what I said before about his cool, calm, collected-ness. He's such a rebel. The kind that really flies off the handle at just about everything. Gives me a proper understanding of 'looks can be deceiving.'

Chapter 3

WooHoo back to Silas!!!

New characters! Yeah!

'She immediately opened her hands and the angry red of her torn skin stood out against the dark dirt and numerous pebbles.' Wow. Incredible sentence. I really love the 'angry red' part. Very eye-catching or whatever.

I know nobody can take me seriously when I say 'or whatever'.

I smell flirting. Just kidding, you can't smell through a computer screen. But I wonder what all this back and forth banter REALLY means.

Awww I need to start getting my creative juices flowing to come up with a nickname for Silas and Adilla.

What. On. Earth. What is a Mandalorian?

Whoa crazy! Literally glued to the computer screen.

Run girl run!

Awww this is just so dang cute. If there's one thing I can follow in a story, it's love. It always manages to tie everything together and make everything else make sense.

No! Bez can't die! What the heck?!

My heart just literally shattered. My goodness, what are you doing to me??

I really feel a connection to this Adilla character. She takes center stage and holds your attention throughout. Honestly, the emotion in this scene is beyond words. I've read a lot of fantastic writing, and this is right up there with it. As a writer, I always have that special connection to my stories and my characters. As a reader, it takes lot for me to feel that same connection, but I feel like these writers pour their entire selves into every word they write, and I give them crazy props for throwing me into a world I don't understand and making it possible for me to get to a point where I feel comfortable voicing (typing) my opinion of their work into this review. I feel like if I jumped into another story that wasn't as well written as this, I would be completely lost and give up after the first paragraph.

And shot down. Strike one, Silas.

Shouldn't Silas be even a little bit concerned about another bounty hunter showing up at his house and killing him?

Rest, dear grasshopper. Totally irrelevant to this story, but I think I'm hilarious so there it shall be.

Chapter 4

Back to StarKiller. If I'm being honest, which I am, I feel like I have a deeper connection with the Silas/Adilla storyline than I do with the StarKiller storyline. I still think StarKiller is pretty awesome though.

I wonder if the young man in StarKiller's vision thing is Silas...hmmmmm.....

I'm not going to lie, I kind of want Proxy as a best friend. I'm just becoming a fan of everything and everyone in this story. Just throwing that out there.

Okay...what is he in? A cave or a space ship? Or is he in a space ship IN a cave? Oh, interesting.

He’s calling Juno! Way too excited about this…

It’s interesting that the tavern almost doubles as a hospital. I’m speaking in the real world, though, so maybe that wasn’t the point.

Poor Proxy L

I feel so bad for Juno and StarKiller. I hope when this is all over they can live happily ever after. Yes, I believe in fairy tales even when I’m reading a Star Wars fic.

I just read a whole paragraph of stuff I don’t understand, but I think Juno saved someone at some point.

And she flies. This chick is awesome!

Another sad face. Like I said before, love is always something I can relate to…except for the gaggy kind of love. That kind is just ugh.

Awww they’re going to meet in their special place. That’s so cute!

And he’s off!

The long awaited reunion. I’m practically jumping around over here. Seriously.

I feel like I’ve been deflated like a balloon. I was really hoping for some love and happiness, but it didn’t turn out that way. I wonder if this is how StarKiller and Juno are feeling.

So sad L

Alright, you guys have done such a fantastic job!  I still can’t believe you managed to get me hooked on a Star Wars story, so that says something in itself right?

Rating: 5/5

Side note: I’ve had the extreme pleasure of speaking with one of the writers in this group, and I have to say that he represented this group of writers perfectly. He was humble and down to earth, which is something I don’t find often with good writers (even bad writers) so I have to applaud the talent and personality of this particular member and, with him, the rest of Theredstring. You’re all such great writers and I hope you never give that up and that it takes you far. Bravo!

Caged Skylark (1-5)

Caged Skylark (1-5)

QuinnLark

Twilight

Summary: Journalist Bella Swan is assigned to work with the new guy, Jacob Black, on her own entertainment column. There is no way she can turn it down; it's the dream of a lifetime. However, Bella didn't bargain for the beautiful man she would work with, nor Edward—the sexy lead singer of the band they are to follow. Will she fly or come crashing down?

Rating: M

Chapter 1

Starting out in Bella’s POV.

Nice, strong opening paragraph. You caught the reader’s attention, now let’s see what you do with it.

There are a few categories that I throw fics into: intense, mild, eh and shoot me. An intense fic will grab my attention and will hold my attention as I read. It starts strong and stays strong. It throws me DIRECTLY into the world I’m reading about and gives me little chance and little desire to leave that world. An intense fic often makes me a little bit sad when it’s over because I have to leave a place I’ve fallen in love with. So far, this fic is intense.

I assume Rosalie and Bella are or at least were friends at some point.

‘My ridiculous blush bloomed in full pink splendor all over my face, the heat blazing my skin.’ Very nice!

‘I felt the strangest urge to reach out and lick them.’ A little bit odd but I’ll bite.

‘He stuck his huge paw of a hand right out to me.’ I see what you did there. Very clever.

Bella Swan in boss mode. I like it. I wonder what kind of crazy things are going to happen between Bella and Jacob….highly inappropriate for the boss to sleep with the employee don’t you think?

Bella is a power woman! You go girl!

It’s ironic that I also dance around my apartment singing into a hairbrush…usually when nobody else is home, though, since I don’t live alone.

Easy, Bella. Don’t get ahead of yourself, now.

I feel like Bella should refer to her boss as Captain Dickhead. But that’s probably just because I’m incredibly childish.

End chapter one. I’m really excited about this!

Chapter 2

Rosalie and Bella are friends…still.

Bella was in a sorority with Rosalie and Alice.

I have to say I like the creativeness behind Alice’s name. You’ve kept the character, yet changed her to a character you can almost call your own in your story. It’s unexpected, yet entirely beautiful.

Alice smokes and Bella sort of smokes. That’s quite a change.

ROYCE KING! You, my friend, are a genius!

Wow, I almost want to stop the review right here. I just have to applaud you for your creativeness. There have been so many unexpected turns that kind of tie into the storyline of Twilight (the original work) that you can completely call your own. I just….wow.

Haha Phil into cougars. Too funny.

So Bella joined a sorority because her mother insisted. Pretty sweet of her. I like that you stay true to the personalities of the characters despite the obvious difference between the book and this fic.

Twilight Moon. Nice.

JASPER! I’m really excited now…in case you couldn’t tell.

Starting the ships early, although I’m not sure how I feel about Alice eyeing up another guy when she’s supposed to be in a serious relationship.

Alice and Jasper are practically screwing each other.

Hmmm….so will it be Bella and Edward or Bella and Jacob?

Chapter 3

Edward’s POV.

Edward sounds very snobbish, but I’ll hold judgment until the end of the chapter, at least.

I like how Edward seems to have taken on the personality of Jacob in your fic. That is, of course, my personal opinion. Stephanie Meyer’s version of Jacob came across as very whiney and self-centered. It was always about him, whereas Edward seemed to be generous and considerate of others. It’s nice to see Edward feeling sorry for himself. It’s a change (are you sick of me saying that yet?)

Edward the poet. Something about that sounds incredibly attractive.

Wow. Just out of the blue he goes from self-pity to cocky. I like your Edward.

There is SO MUCH…how do I say this politely…”eye contact” in the club! This story continues to keep me interested, so sorry if this review turns out shorter than you expected. I just hate to stop reading.

Little does he know that he’s going to be seeing a lot more of the brunette he wants to be…I mean sleep with.

Oh Edward, you are in deep!

Chapter 4

Back to Bella’s POV.

By the end of the night I imagine Bella will be in Edward’s bed in the hotel. Just throwing that out there.

Oh, well I guess I was wrong. I was really expecting it, but I’m sure all the sexual tension between them is just build up for later on.

I don’t know who I’m pulling for in this. On one hand, Edward has the mysterious stranger thing going on for him but Jacob has the sneaky, ‘I’m going to pretend I’m not interested in you even though I am’, subtle flirting thing going on. We’ll have to see how this plays out.

Jessica the slut? Oh boy.

I like Bella casually flipping Mike off. Made me laugh.

Awww Jake’s mom died? That’s so sad!

Oh boy. Bella’s going to die if she has to be around Jake AND Edward!

Maybe now she’s going to go home with Edward.

Oh Bella. That’s so inappropriate!

Alright, Edward sounds sort of creepy in that part, but as long as Bella doesn’t mind I won’t go into detail about it.

“We shouldn’t be friends.” Yeah, probably not, Edward.

And now we find out that Edward, Jasper and Emmett are the band that Bella is going to be following around for a year!

Chapter 5

Edward’s POV. By the way, I’m putting these in here so you understand why I’m only referring to one person at a time.

Sexual tension, sexual tension, sexual tension.

Whoa! Weed? Never saw Edward smoking weed.

I wonder who this “woman” he referred to is.

BAD EDWARD! Smoking in a hotel in the first place is frowned upon, smoking weed in a hotel room is even worse.

You can’t tell me room service didn’t notice the smoke or smell. Blah.

Five at night? Wow, Edward really does sleep off his drunkenness.

I sense some hatred of the Hale family…

I just assumed he called her Isabella because he figured that’s what Bella was short for, but I see I was wrong.

Ha! Emmett and Rosalie! Should have seen that coming!

Edward reminds me of Christian Grey (coincidence? Absolutely not) in his ability to find information he wants.

Cocky Edward, stop shooting down Jacob’s mood.

Sorry, Edward, but there’s only one way to settle THAT awkwardness…

Still interested, so you’re doing something right. I think I’m going to be more into the weird love triangle than the journalism bit, but I’m excited to see where this goes. Bravo so far.