Monster (21-25)

Monster

Twilight

The.Bloody White.Wolf.xoxo

Summary: I'm nothing but a monster burning in a hell that only exists in my head. There's no hope left until one harmless glance chances logic and binds two eternal enemies together in a twist of fate. Can the escape from this hell be found in an infuriating dimpled grin? Or is this another dark, dirty trick of my own mind? A forbidden passion, heat, and intense anger—this is no fairytale.

 

 

Alright guys, this review has been a long time coming and I thank The.Bloody White.Wolf.xoxo for the patience and understanding. I thoroughly enjoyed the first part of the piece, and I'm anxious to re-start the second now that I understand everything about your main character. Thank you for giving me the chance to do a review on this fic and for sitting back quietly while I got through the first 20 chapters.

 

With that said, I have to inform you guys that while I'm ONLY reviewing chapters 21-25, there are several (20, obviously) chapters before this that you MUST read. It really is neccessary to understand what's going on and it's a great read. So read part 1 before jumping straight into part 2 so you'll know everything you need to know about the main character. Okay? Okay.

 

 

 

So we start off with Jordan fighting a vampire. At least I'm pretty sure she's fighting a vampire. She could be imagining it because of what another vampire did to her parents, but I'm going to go with my first thought, which is that she's actually fighting one. She has several flashbacks in this chapter, and they're all interesting to read. Who am I kidding? The whole fic is interesting to read. First, you have the word choice throughout, which is great. That, combined with Jordan's obvious anger issues really tie together for an interesting premise. Perhaps I'm just far too interested in death and murder. Being inside Jordan's head is a lot of fun for me. 

 

My first random question that has almost nothing to do with this fic: if the smell of vampires absolutely disgusts wolves, I can't imagine the taste of them is any better. So, is it the anger that makes them capable if tearing apart a vampire without a second thought, or do they just do it to get it over with? 

 

While I have much respect and admiration for Jordan, I just cant see a wolf being able to click a lighter on. I think, maybe, if she were lying on the ground with the lighter held between her paws and she was really, really talented she could, but even with opposable thumbs I suck at creating that wicked flame. But, let's be honest here, guys. Anybody who has read Monster has, at some point, considered Jordan their hero. Right? The girl has been through hell and back like six times and still manages to be tough and now cower away. Not only that, but she's been on her own more than any 17 year old should have been and she's managed to survive. I mean, let's face it. I lost my grandma and didn't write for months. I didn't really do much of anything besides look for a job and stuff. I look like a big baby compared to Jordan Uley, even if she is a fictional character. Don't lie, you know you look like a big baby compared to her too. The girl (wolf) is ripping her own fur off without blinking an eye! You can't compete with that.

 

One of my favorite things about this fic is how Jordan IS the white wolf, but sometimes refers to herself in third person while she's the wolf. The multiple personalities thing is pretty awesome, even if technically it would sort of make her crazy. My obsession with death makes it impossible for me to see her as a bad kind of crazy, but I suppose to a normal person she would be psychotic. Oh well, I don't care. 

 

Wolf Vs. Vampire is interesting enough. Wolf Vs. Wolf? Let me grab my popcorn. 

 

I find it ironic that Jordan is a white wolf, yet she's so full of hatred and darkness. It's like an oxymoron. Does that make sense? Probably not, but I usually don't. 

 

Enter Bella and Victoria.

 

"You could be right. But you're not." haha I LOVE this line. But honestly, Jordan has quite the attitude. At some points it's amusing, at others it's just like 'why can't you just be nice?' but overall, I don't blame her for having it. She's spent her entire life dealing with shit and I think at this point she has the right to be pissed off at the world. I'm very curious as to why Sam is now demanding Jordan come home and help kill Victoria when only two and a half years ago he sent her home because she killed a vampire. Well, I suppose it wasn't REALLY because she killed a vampire. It was more that she hurt a member of the pack TO kill the vampire, but you get the idea. He didn't think she could handle it before, but she can now? Oh, Sam.

 

Is anybody else cheering for Jordan and Paul to get together? I think I've been cheering for it since Paul entered the fic, to be honest.

 

We're finally getting more interaction from Nicole now aside from 'I don't want to hang out with my little sister'. It's great, and I'm very interested in seeing where the relationship between Jordan and Nicole is headed.  

 

And chapter 21 ends with Jordan wanting to slaughter to Cullens along with Victoria. Sounds about right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's nice to open the chapter up with Jordan cooperating, even if it IS just to off the Cullens. At least this opens up a door for her to be more compassionate and understanding and helpful in the future, though I don't see any of these things happening.

 

Alright, she just shifted back to her human form and is totally naked. Hands up if you kind of want Paul to show up and be like 'oh, uh, stutter stutter stutter, sorry' lol. I really feel like this review is going to be very heavy on the Paul/Jordan fangirl freak out. Although now I'm curious. It must be really weird for Jordan to be back in her human form after being a wolf for so long. i don't imagine she shifted back and forth much in the last 2 1/2 years. I wonder if she's going to have to sort of 're-learn' everyting.

 

Okay, every time I read Jake as a wolf now it reminds me of watching Eclipse with my sister. I love her, but watching movies with her when she's gotten no sleep (due to my dear, precious, five month old niece) is next to impossible. She talks through the entire thing and asks the stupidents questions. She won't accept my answers, either. Anyway, do Jake and the other wolves recognize Jordan as a human? And why doesnt she want them to see her? Is she shy? I mean, she's clothed now, and she's going back to help fight the vampires, so why hide? Jordan is a weird, weird girl. 

 

Still shipping, still shipping, still shipping. The fact that she seems so irritated and Paul and Jared are still messing around is classic. It really helps balance the negetive of Jordan. Right now, though, I'm slowly dying and going to fangirl heaven. They HAVE to get together. If they don't, I will be very upset. 

 

My one dislike of this fic: why the heck does Jordan call Sam dad? And why does Sam allow it? Honestly, her dad was murdered. It's not like he ran off or something. Besides, wasn't her dad Sam's brother?

 

How does Jordan know Emily's name? Or is it just a reference?

 

OoO Makah rez. Shit. I feel a war coming on. Hardcore. I wonder if that's part of the reason Jordan hates her. I can't imagine why she would hate Emilly so much just because she's dating Sam. Or maybe she really liked Leah and doesn't want to see someone else come in and ruin that. Either way, I feel a little bad for her. She finally comes home (good intentions or not) and is bombarded with all this crazy news of imprinting and shifting and the like. But she's Jordan freakin' Uley, and she survives everything.

 

Alright, LOVE the Jacob/Jordan conversation, regardless of whether Jordan was feeling it or not. I wonder what happened between Jake and Nicole that she doesn't really talk to him anymore. I also wonder if Nicole was ever jealous of the attention Jordan got from the public, even if it was bad. Did Nicole ever think Jordan was just seeking attention? I have sisters, I know how those thoughts go. I have an older and a younger sister. I know both ways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alright, starting to learn more that Jordan has no self control at all, and I think this has to do with her being on her own the first time she changed to a wolf. I assume that all new wolves have a difficult time learning how to control themselves, but being on your own and making no attempt to control herself really did her in. It doesn't take much to trigger Jordan, and it's a little freaky.

 

Jordan and a test? For what? What the hell is going on?

 

I'm pathetic, but everytime I see Paul's name I do this crazy, creepy fangirl smile like 'yeah, I know what YOU'RE thinking.' (Still shipping).

 

Jordan is spiraling down into a dark, black hole. That's the only way I can picture it. It's like she can't control herself in any aspect of her life. Her thoughts, actions or feelings. It's scary to think of her drinking since she's got this anger boiling down inside of her, and while she might feel like it helps tame that wild side, it's really just going to end up making her more aggressive. Sadly, I'm excited for this. And Leah, God I really feel for her. It sucks when the person you love chooses somebody else, although in this case at least she knows it's going to work out. Then again, I don't know if that's better or worse. Knowing that you never have a chance with him again, or hoping that you will and ending up disappointed. Anybody want to weigh in on this?

 

How old is Jordan now? If she's under 21, how did she manage to get alcohol. I should pay attention to these things.

 

When I picture Jordan dancing, it's more like an unbalanced, awkward, middle school show off kind of thing. Nothing really graceful about it. Then again, I'm being stereotypical assuming that wolves can't dance.

 

Why do I have this sudden feeling that she's about to go off and have sex with some guy...and that guy won't be Paul? God I hope not.

 

Oh thank God she didn't have sex with him. Seriously, she needs to save herself for Paul. But honestly, it's crazy how she can so easily lose herself and shift. It kind of makes me wonder if she's going to randomly burst into wolf form in the middle of the city or something. Wouldn't that be a shock to everyone.

 

And Jordan is back to wanting to kill the Cullens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jordan literally hates everything. Have I mentioned that yet? And the fact that she thinks she's going to get her older sister's respect is a joke, whether she thinks she can force it from her or not. I'm 20 years old and my sister still doesn't respect me. It must be that 'I was born first, I'm superior to you' thing.

 

We get a description of a hallway in Sam's house and a description of Jordan's room. Quite interesting. We also get a glimpse into her diary (journal, maybe?) and it's a little bit dark and heavy. Then again, what did you expect.

 

Holding. My. Breath. Breathe, Hollie. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. FINALLY! THANK YOU GOD!!

 

Just as quickly as it started it was over. Thank you for ruining that moment for us (me) Jordan. I appreciate that. Honestly, stop throwing a tantrum. You knowy ou love Paul. You want to be with him. Suck it up, buttercup and let him LOOOVEEE you!! Anyway, Paul really rounded this out what with not taking it hard and actually joking about it. It gives me a little more faith in this ship. Is there a name for them? Jaul? Pordan? Jaul works way better. That is what I shall refer to them as from now on.

 

Okay, Jordan. You really let Paul run off and then you went to sleep? You. Suck. 

 

 

 

 

 

You know what I think would help Jordan sleep? Yoga, Paul and cuddling. Yeah, I know Jordan probably isn't the cuddling type, but I don't care. She can't deny her love forever!!

Whoa. Quite the dream there, Jordan. Vampire in front of you and being forced to stay put. I bet you almost died.

 

The big, bad fight. Yeah, I'm not clever, but I'm just getting into the buildup for this wolf/Cullen/Victoria fight and I'm anxious about it, but I have to make notes so I can write a review on it, so I make myself stop reading to do so.

 

I kind of feel like having the kissing conversation through wolf telepathy is a bad idea, especially with Sam standing there. Not only did Paul make Jordan mad by kissing her, but now he's going to let ALL the wolves know he kissed her, so she has twice as many reasons to hate him. But really, she needs to give Paul a break. He seems like a nice guy, and he's clearly into her. Even if he blames kissing her on being tired and out of it. And when Jordan refers to Paul as her best friend, I become very childish and just go 'best friend...or LOVER?'

 

Maybe it's because I love the Cullens, but why do the wolves hate them so bad if they're not doing anything wrong? Is it just a grudge because of the evil, nasty vampires who kill people? This is something I don't think I'll quite understand...ever.

 

Why is anyone betting on who is going to get Victoria? Didn't they see Jordan in action? She's a lean, mean, killing machine. My bet is on her.

 

It's insensitive of me, but I like Jared's dig at Leah.

 

Okay, mini battle is over. Really, even if it was funny, they should try to understand Leah's situation. Then again, Leah should just stop feeling sorry for herself and move on, or at least not subject everyone else to her pain. It's not their fault that Sam imprinted. Hell, it's not even Sam's fault. Again, I'm being insensitive.  

 

It's very interesting to read this from the wolf point of view. I was just watching Eclipse with my sister the other night, and this is the ONE scene I remember for sure from it. I like how this is going, even if I know what's going to happen.

 

First comment-Paul and Jordan fighting together? SIGN! Second comment-if Emmett runs and he crosses the line back into his territory, do the wolves stop or do they risk it?

 

Oh Jordan. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan.

 

I picture the wolves jumping around like the dogs at my moms house do (when we get my dog, my sisters dogs and my moms dogs together that is) just larger form. It's funny, to be honest.

 

Wow, Jordan backed off on her own. I wonder what Emmett did that made her rethink her decision. It's very interesting that in a matter of seconds her whole self changed. I'm, of course, going to continue to read this, but this is the end of the review.

 

 

 

 

Rating: 4/5

 

While I love your word choice and your glimpse into the Jaul relationship, I am a little hesitant as far as Jordan's attitude goes. I'm finding her very hard to read (as in, I can't quite understand her). There were a few moments that made me lean in toward the screen, but they seemed over in a flash. Overall, though, you've done an excellent job. I'm looking forward to reading more.