Caged Skylark (1-5)

Caged Skylark (1-5)

QuinnLark

Twilight

Summary: Journalist Bella Swan is assigned to work with the new guy, Jacob Black, on her own entertainment column. There is no way she can turn it down; it's the dream of a lifetime. However, Bella didn't bargain for the beautiful man she would work with, nor Edward—the sexy lead singer of the band they are to follow. Will she fly or come crashing down?

Rating: M

Chapter 1

Starting out in Bella’s POV.

Nice, strong opening paragraph. You caught the reader’s attention, now let’s see what you do with it.

There are a few categories that I throw fics into: intense, mild, eh and shoot me. An intense fic will grab my attention and will hold my attention as I read. It starts strong and stays strong. It throws me DIRECTLY into the world I’m reading about and gives me little chance and little desire to leave that world. An intense fic often makes me a little bit sad when it’s over because I have to leave a place I’ve fallen in love with. So far, this fic is intense.

I assume Rosalie and Bella are or at least were friends at some point.

‘My ridiculous blush bloomed in full pink splendor all over my face, the heat blazing my skin.’ Very nice!

‘I felt the strangest urge to reach out and lick them.’ A little bit odd but I’ll bite.

‘He stuck his huge paw of a hand right out to me.’ I see what you did there. Very clever.

Bella Swan in boss mode. I like it. I wonder what kind of crazy things are going to happen between Bella and Jacob….highly inappropriate for the boss to sleep with the employee don’t you think?

Bella is a power woman! You go girl!

It’s ironic that I also dance around my apartment singing into a hairbrush…usually when nobody else is home, though, since I don’t live alone.

Easy, Bella. Don’t get ahead of yourself, now.

I feel like Bella should refer to her boss as Captain Dickhead. But that’s probably just because I’m incredibly childish.

End chapter one. I’m really excited about this!

Chapter 2

Rosalie and Bella are friends…still.

Bella was in a sorority with Rosalie and Alice.

I have to say I like the creativeness behind Alice’s name. You’ve kept the character, yet changed her to a character you can almost call your own in your story. It’s unexpected, yet entirely beautiful.

Alice smokes and Bella sort of smokes. That’s quite a change.

ROYCE KING! You, my friend, are a genius!

Wow, I almost want to stop the review right here. I just have to applaud you for your creativeness. There have been so many unexpected turns that kind of tie into the storyline of Twilight (the original work) that you can completely call your own. I just….wow.

Haha Phil into cougars. Too funny.

So Bella joined a sorority because her mother insisted. Pretty sweet of her. I like that you stay true to the personalities of the characters despite the obvious difference between the book and this fic.

Twilight Moon. Nice.

JASPER! I’m really excited now…in case you couldn’t tell.

Starting the ships early, although I’m not sure how I feel about Alice eyeing up another guy when she’s supposed to be in a serious relationship.

Alice and Jasper are practically screwing each other.

Hmmm….so will it be Bella and Edward or Bella and Jacob?

Chapter 3

Edward’s POV.

Edward sounds very snobbish, but I’ll hold judgment until the end of the chapter, at least.

I like how Edward seems to have taken on the personality of Jacob in your fic. That is, of course, my personal opinion. Stephanie Meyer’s version of Jacob came across as very whiney and self-centered. It was always about him, whereas Edward seemed to be generous and considerate of others. It’s nice to see Edward feeling sorry for himself. It’s a change (are you sick of me saying that yet?)

Edward the poet. Something about that sounds incredibly attractive.

Wow. Just out of the blue he goes from self-pity to cocky. I like your Edward.

There is SO MUCH…how do I say this politely…”eye contact” in the club! This story continues to keep me interested, so sorry if this review turns out shorter than you expected. I just hate to stop reading.

Little does he know that he’s going to be seeing a lot more of the brunette he wants to be…I mean sleep with.

Oh Edward, you are in deep!

Chapter 4

Back to Bella’s POV.

By the end of the night I imagine Bella will be in Edward’s bed in the hotel. Just throwing that out there.

Oh, well I guess I was wrong. I was really expecting it, but I’m sure all the sexual tension between them is just build up for later on.

I don’t know who I’m pulling for in this. On one hand, Edward has the mysterious stranger thing going on for him but Jacob has the sneaky, ‘I’m going to pretend I’m not interested in you even though I am’, subtle flirting thing going on. We’ll have to see how this plays out.

Jessica the slut? Oh boy.

I like Bella casually flipping Mike off. Made me laugh.

Awww Jake’s mom died? That’s so sad!

Oh boy. Bella’s going to die if she has to be around Jake AND Edward!

Maybe now she’s going to go home with Edward.

Oh Bella. That’s so inappropriate!

Alright, Edward sounds sort of creepy in that part, but as long as Bella doesn’t mind I won’t go into detail about it.

“We shouldn’t be friends.” Yeah, probably not, Edward.

And now we find out that Edward, Jasper and Emmett are the band that Bella is going to be following around for a year!

Chapter 5

Edward’s POV. By the way, I’m putting these in here so you understand why I’m only referring to one person at a time.

Sexual tension, sexual tension, sexual tension.

Whoa! Weed? Never saw Edward smoking weed.

I wonder who this “woman” he referred to is.

BAD EDWARD! Smoking in a hotel in the first place is frowned upon, smoking weed in a hotel room is even worse.

You can’t tell me room service didn’t notice the smoke or smell. Blah.

Five at night? Wow, Edward really does sleep off his drunkenness.

I sense some hatred of the Hale family…

I just assumed he called her Isabella because he figured that’s what Bella was short for, but I see I was wrong.

Ha! Emmett and Rosalie! Should have seen that coming!

Edward reminds me of Christian Grey (coincidence? Absolutely not) in his ability to find information he wants.

Cocky Edward, stop shooting down Jacob’s mood.

Sorry, Edward, but there’s only one way to settle THAT awkwardness…

Still interested, so you’re doing something right. I think I’m going to be more into the weird love triangle than the journalism bit, but I’m excited to see where this goes. Bravo so far.