Three Worthless Years (1-5)

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Three Worthless Years

 LadyofSpain

 Twilight

 Summary: Bella meets Jake at CAP bootcamp.They hit it off and writing to her, he falls in love. She has a boyfriend, gets pregnant, and stops corresponding. He can't forget her even while in Iraq. 3 yrs later he's at her door demanding an explanation. Nommed for best AH story at JBNP 2012 Awards

 Rated: M

 Chapter 1

 So chapter one is basically a background. We learn Bella didn’t have many friends mainly due to her parents, especially Charlie, insisting that she come straight home from school to do her homework. Good grades were a must in her house growing up. Love was non-existent, in fact, Charlie made it perfectly clear to Bella not to expect romance in her life and that marriage was about having a companion and having children. That’s it. Her only friend was her cousin, Garry, who essentially introduced the Civil Air Patrol (which I assume is what CAP stands for) and Bella’s parents think it will help her broaden her horizon. The essential background was told quickly, but effectively.

 Chapter 2

 CAP-Civil Air Patrol. I was right!

 Bella and Garry appear to be young in this story.

 I assumed Garry was older than Bella…but I guess not.

 Bella can, by all legal means, drive. However, her father will not take her driving because she’s terrible at it.

 She meets Mike at this CAP place.

 CAP Camp.

 Bella absolutely HATES the place, but I think she stays because her parents want her to.

 Introducing Jacob Black. I see a spark.

 Your Jacob Black sounds INCREDIBLY sexy.

 Haha I love Bella talking like she did Jake a favor by dancing with him. Come on, we all know she totally wanted to.

 I like this flirting thing going on. It’s so casual, but obvious.

 The way that you write is….different. I mean that in a good way. You get through the scene quickly, without drawing out the tiny details, but you manage to hit every nail on the head. It’s effective, it’s quick, and it works.

 Jacob sounds like such a girl in this chapter, but I’ll let it slide because it was nerves.

 Chapter 3

 I’m going to make an assumption here, because I’m really good at doing that. I figure that James is probably doing the rockstar thing and sleeping around which is why he hasn’t had time to write Bella. Let’s see where this goes.

 "What's wrong with you? The last girl I said that to, had her panties off for me in a flash." SMH. Oh James…

 This makes my assumption near correct, but I’m surprised that James stayed with her after all of this. It sounds like a very casual relationship, like the only thing keeping them together is them saying they’re boyfriend and girlfriend.

 Ugh! I hate James more and more as I read this. What a jerk!

 I like that Mike is Bella’s best friend. It fits so well.

 I find that I get really jealous of Bella because every Jacob/Bella fic I’ve read has this smooth-talking, sweet, caring, loving Jacob in it. Of course, that’s not how he came across to me in the book, but that’s beside the point. So then I’m always saying things like ‘I want Jacob Black for my birthday’ (because my birthday is sooner than Christmas). At this point, I want like six different Jacob Black’s.

 “Are you engaged to him?” “No.” “Then no, relationships break up all the time.” Ha! I love this!

 How the heck is Bella not swooning over this guy?!

 Chapter 4

Day of the dance! So exciting!

Miss Sexy Legs! I love it!

My God I want your Jacob in my life! What a sexy sounding man!

This makes me feel bad about being single. It’s probably not because of the story, though. Probably just personal stuff.

Jacob’s totally going to make Bella believe in love!

I like reading the scene from different perspectives. It’s awesome.

Chapter 5

Oh snap! Jacob knows about her boyfriend. Well, I mean, he knows facts about her boyfriend and not just that she has a boyfriend. He’s known she’s had a boyfriend since chapter 3.

So Jake thinks with his heart and Bella thinks with her brain. I’m hoping Jake changes her mind about love. Seriously. Like I said in a lot of other reviews, love is a storyline I can follow as long as it’s not cheesy romance film.

Awww!!! At least he asked! What a gentleman!

Wow. That was crazy! DUMP JAMES, BELLA! KICK HIM TO THE CURB!

This is borderline sappy, which is odd because I HATE sappy, but it never crosses that line. It gets close, but never crosses over into sappy. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s like a perfect balance. It goes away from just being romantic, but not overboard. Does that make sense?

This was a fantastic place to leave off for the first review!

I love this so far! When I started reading it I wasn’t so sure how I would feel about it, but it’s grown on me. Good job!

Broken Vow

Broken Vow

Wemmawriter

Glee

Summary: Will is a broken man after being jilted by Emma, the love of his life, at the altar. But where is she, and will she ever return to his loving arms again? An off-shot from the Glee episode 'I Do'.

Rated: T

Chapter 1

‘Emma Pillsbury had cried a bucket of regrets today.’ I like this!

This is so heart-wrenching to read that I almost feel like giving up and trying to pick up again tomorrow, but alas this must continue, and maybe I’ll even learn something from it.

That cab driver is a jerk! Good for Emma letting her fiery personality (redhead’s are known for their fierceness) take over to tell that guy off!

I’m going to sound like a real jerk (like the cab driver) but if she just ran out of her own wedding, so I guess I don’t understand what the hell she’s freaking out for. I’ve never really watched Glee (I’ve listened to plenty of songs from Glee, though) so maybe that’s why I don’t understand, but I would think that someone who just ran from her own wedding wouldn’t be sitting in the backseat of a cab talking about how she can’t believe she just did that. She should be jumping out of the cab and running right back in.

OH MY GOD! NO WAY!!

I think I get it now.

I’m pretty sure Will is the music teacher and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who finds him attractive. Right?

For a second I really believed she was going to do the right thing. Of course, I was wrong.

This is a really great start to your story, and I’m sure if this continues you’re going to have a lot of fans.

Chapter 2

This whole story is very sad, so far!

I don’t think it’s a good idea for Finn to confess that he kissed the groom’s fiancé. Just throwing that out there.

Okay, so it’s really hard to fathom being left at the alter by the person you love. As hard as I try, I can’t help but feel Will’s pain. It makes my heart hurt.

Awwww to have him blaming himself for the entire mess makes it even worse!

How in the world is Will going to go back to school after this mess? Wow.

It’s almost funny that Will’s parents were very supportive of the marriage and he stayed and Emma’s weren’t and she ran. I wonder if that has a part of it.

I like Will’s parents. They seem pretty cool.

Sue is pretty funny, even though she sounds like a nutcase right about now.

‘rehab for the ginger impaired.’ Lol best line!

Will’s going to search for Emma while the former glee club members party it up. Although, I kind of feel like there isn’t going to be much partying going on while they’re all worried about Will.

Worst. Ending. Ever. Just kidding, it was really good, but really hard to read. I just feel this overwhelming despair reading those words.

Nonetheless, great job. I’m excited to see where this goes!

StarKiller-Clone Subject 1138: A New Beginning (1-4)

StarKiller - Clone Subject 1138: A New Beginning (1-4)

Theredstring

Star Wars 

Summary: Juno Eclipse and Master Rham Kota have urged Starkiller, the clone, to go into hiding and change his name. He ends up staying on Dantooine following the force's lead. Little did he realize that he would meet an orphaned teen, who would provide the answers he needed to fulfill his destiny.

Rated: K+

Star Wars Fic!! I literally know nothing about Star Wars (you may throw tomatos now) but let’s give it a shot, hey?

Chapter 1

Is it bad I’m reading this in an English accent? I’m not English, just to clarify. Sounds so smart and well worded!

So this guy, StarKiller, was like a spy (I think) and he was undercover and then he and this other person (Juno) put Darth Vader on trial, but Vader escaped.

Yeah, I don’t really know what I’m reading. I like how it sounds, though.

It’s probably because I’m not a Star Wars fan (another reason to disown me from fanfiction, I suppose) but I thought that StarKiller DIDN’T want to be known as Galen Marek?

I think I get it now. Nevermind.

So someone on this planet is a human…I think.

Master Mama! Heck yeah!

I love this story, even though I don’t understand very much of it. It’s well written, and even though it’s hard to follow for a non-fan it’s easy to become interested.

It’s so sad that they were split up. I’m single, and probably will be the rest of my life, so I lucked out in not having to feel that lol.

Chapter 2

This is awesome. I wish you wrote for fandoms I knew about because I’d be, like, your biggest fan. Just kidding, but I would be really into reading what you write.

Is Juno his girlfriend?

I like StarKiller. He seems pretty cool! He kind of seems like the cool, calm and collected friend everyone wants to have. Well, externally. I imagine internally he's the exact opposite.

And watching as that cool, calm, collected demeanor fades away. Very nice.

Whoa! Let me jump to a conclusion here, as I'm very good at doing. So Galen Marek is the one who loves Juno, but because StarKiller is a clone of Galen Marek he loves Juno. Right? That's a weird little love triangle, isn't it? The pieces are (slowly) coming together.

Okay....someone explain this 'force' thing to me? What the heck is it? (this has been explained to me).

Is a droid like a dog? Not like does it look like a dog, but like is it some sort of pet? What is it? (it has been explained, so for all you non-Star Wars fans it’s basically like a robot).

I think when I start seriously looking for a co-blogger I'm going to seriously hit up the Star Wars/Star Trek people. I need someone who understands this stuff.

Why do I feel like this review is complete nonsense? Oh right, because I have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, I hope it's mildly entertaining anyway...

I kind of imagine StarKiller as a robot at this point, even though I'm pretty positive that he is NOT a robot.

OoO sassy Proxy! Go to the dog house! Okay, that was a cheap joke.

Yeah StarKiller, you programmed him. It's your own fault. You may also look in the mirror and blame yourself for having a considerate and caring droid...whatever a droid is.

I take back what I said before about his cool, calm, collected-ness. He's such a rebel. The kind that really flies off the handle at just about everything. Gives me a proper understanding of 'looks can be deceiving.'

Chapter 3

WooHoo back to Silas!!!

New characters! Yeah!

'She immediately opened her hands and the angry red of her torn skin stood out against the dark dirt and numerous pebbles.' Wow. Incredible sentence. I really love the 'angry red' part. Very eye-catching or whatever.

I know nobody can take me seriously when I say 'or whatever'.

I smell flirting. Just kidding, you can't smell through a computer screen. But I wonder what all this back and forth banter REALLY means.

Awww I need to start getting my creative juices flowing to come up with a nickname for Silas and Adilla.

What. On. Earth. What is a Mandalorian?

Whoa crazy! Literally glued to the computer screen.

Run girl run!

Awww this is just so dang cute. If there's one thing I can follow in a story, it's love. It always manages to tie everything together and make everything else make sense.

No! Bez can't die! What the heck?!

My heart just literally shattered. My goodness, what are you doing to me??

I really feel a connection to this Adilla character. She takes center stage and holds your attention throughout. Honestly, the emotion in this scene is beyond words. I've read a lot of fantastic writing, and this is right up there with it. As a writer, I always have that special connection to my stories and my characters. As a reader, it takes lot for me to feel that same connection, but I feel like these writers pour their entire selves into every word they write, and I give them crazy props for throwing me into a world I don't understand and making it possible for me to get to a point where I feel comfortable voicing (typing) my opinion of their work into this review. I feel like if I jumped into another story that wasn't as well written as this, I would be completely lost and give up after the first paragraph.

And shot down. Strike one, Silas.

Shouldn't Silas be even a little bit concerned about another bounty hunter showing up at his house and killing him?

Rest, dear grasshopper. Totally irrelevant to this story, but I think I'm hilarious so there it shall be.

Chapter 4

Back to StarKiller. If I'm being honest, which I am, I feel like I have a deeper connection with the Silas/Adilla storyline than I do with the StarKiller storyline. I still think StarKiller is pretty awesome though.

I wonder if the young man in StarKiller's vision thing is Silas...hmmmmm.....

I'm not going to lie, I kind of want Proxy as a best friend. I'm just becoming a fan of everything and everyone in this story. Just throwing that out there.

Okay...what is he in? A cave or a space ship? Or is he in a space ship IN a cave? Oh, interesting.

He’s calling Juno! Way too excited about this…

It’s interesting that the tavern almost doubles as a hospital. I’m speaking in the real world, though, so maybe that wasn’t the point.

Poor Proxy L

I feel so bad for Juno and StarKiller. I hope when this is all over they can live happily ever after. Yes, I believe in fairy tales even when I’m reading a Star Wars fic.

I just read a whole paragraph of stuff I don’t understand, but I think Juno saved someone at some point.

And she flies. This chick is awesome!

Another sad face. Like I said before, love is always something I can relate to…except for the gaggy kind of love. That kind is just ugh.

Awww they’re going to meet in their special place. That’s so cute!

And he’s off!

The long awaited reunion. I’m practically jumping around over here. Seriously.

I feel like I’ve been deflated like a balloon. I was really hoping for some love and happiness, but it didn’t turn out that way. I wonder if this is how StarKiller and Juno are feeling.

So sad L

Alright, you guys have done such a fantastic job!  I still can’t believe you managed to get me hooked on a Star Wars story, so that says something in itself right?

Rating: 5/5

Side note: I’ve had the extreme pleasure of speaking with one of the writers in this group, and I have to say that he represented this group of writers perfectly. He was humble and down to earth, which is something I don’t find often with good writers (even bad writers) so I have to applaud the talent and personality of this particular member and, with him, the rest of Theredstring. You’re all such great writers and I hope you never give that up and that it takes you far. Bravo!

Caged Skylark (1-5)

Caged Skylark (1-5)

QuinnLark

Twilight

Summary: Journalist Bella Swan is assigned to work with the new guy, Jacob Black, on her own entertainment column. There is no way she can turn it down; it's the dream of a lifetime. However, Bella didn't bargain for the beautiful man she would work with, nor Edward—the sexy lead singer of the band they are to follow. Will she fly or come crashing down?

Rating: M

Chapter 1

Starting out in Bella’s POV.

Nice, strong opening paragraph. You caught the reader’s attention, now let’s see what you do with it.

There are a few categories that I throw fics into: intense, mild, eh and shoot me. An intense fic will grab my attention and will hold my attention as I read. It starts strong and stays strong. It throws me DIRECTLY into the world I’m reading about and gives me little chance and little desire to leave that world. An intense fic often makes me a little bit sad when it’s over because I have to leave a place I’ve fallen in love with. So far, this fic is intense.

I assume Rosalie and Bella are or at least were friends at some point.

‘My ridiculous blush bloomed in full pink splendor all over my face, the heat blazing my skin.’ Very nice!

‘I felt the strangest urge to reach out and lick them.’ A little bit odd but I’ll bite.

‘He stuck his huge paw of a hand right out to me.’ I see what you did there. Very clever.

Bella Swan in boss mode. I like it. I wonder what kind of crazy things are going to happen between Bella and Jacob….highly inappropriate for the boss to sleep with the employee don’t you think?

Bella is a power woman! You go girl!

It’s ironic that I also dance around my apartment singing into a hairbrush…usually when nobody else is home, though, since I don’t live alone.

Easy, Bella. Don’t get ahead of yourself, now.

I feel like Bella should refer to her boss as Captain Dickhead. But that’s probably just because I’m incredibly childish.

End chapter one. I’m really excited about this!

Chapter 2

Rosalie and Bella are friends…still.

Bella was in a sorority with Rosalie and Alice.

I have to say I like the creativeness behind Alice’s name. You’ve kept the character, yet changed her to a character you can almost call your own in your story. It’s unexpected, yet entirely beautiful.

Alice smokes and Bella sort of smokes. That’s quite a change.

ROYCE KING! You, my friend, are a genius!

Wow, I almost want to stop the review right here. I just have to applaud you for your creativeness. There have been so many unexpected turns that kind of tie into the storyline of Twilight (the original work) that you can completely call your own. I just….wow.

Haha Phil into cougars. Too funny.

So Bella joined a sorority because her mother insisted. Pretty sweet of her. I like that you stay true to the personalities of the characters despite the obvious difference between the book and this fic.

Twilight Moon. Nice.

JASPER! I’m really excited now…in case you couldn’t tell.

Starting the ships early, although I’m not sure how I feel about Alice eyeing up another guy when she’s supposed to be in a serious relationship.

Alice and Jasper are practically screwing each other.

Hmmm….so will it be Bella and Edward or Bella and Jacob?

Chapter 3

Edward’s POV.

Edward sounds very snobbish, but I’ll hold judgment until the end of the chapter, at least.

I like how Edward seems to have taken on the personality of Jacob in your fic. That is, of course, my personal opinion. Stephanie Meyer’s version of Jacob came across as very whiney and self-centered. It was always about him, whereas Edward seemed to be generous and considerate of others. It’s nice to see Edward feeling sorry for himself. It’s a change (are you sick of me saying that yet?)

Edward the poet. Something about that sounds incredibly attractive.

Wow. Just out of the blue he goes from self-pity to cocky. I like your Edward.

There is SO MUCH…how do I say this politely…”eye contact” in the club! This story continues to keep me interested, so sorry if this review turns out shorter than you expected. I just hate to stop reading.

Little does he know that he’s going to be seeing a lot more of the brunette he wants to be…I mean sleep with.

Oh Edward, you are in deep!

Chapter 4

Back to Bella’s POV.

By the end of the night I imagine Bella will be in Edward’s bed in the hotel. Just throwing that out there.

Oh, well I guess I was wrong. I was really expecting it, but I’m sure all the sexual tension between them is just build up for later on.

I don’t know who I’m pulling for in this. On one hand, Edward has the mysterious stranger thing going on for him but Jacob has the sneaky, ‘I’m going to pretend I’m not interested in you even though I am’, subtle flirting thing going on. We’ll have to see how this plays out.

Jessica the slut? Oh boy.

I like Bella casually flipping Mike off. Made me laugh.

Awww Jake’s mom died? That’s so sad!

Oh boy. Bella’s going to die if she has to be around Jake AND Edward!

Maybe now she’s going to go home with Edward.

Oh Bella. That’s so inappropriate!

Alright, Edward sounds sort of creepy in that part, but as long as Bella doesn’t mind I won’t go into detail about it.

“We shouldn’t be friends.” Yeah, probably not, Edward.

And now we find out that Edward, Jasper and Emmett are the band that Bella is going to be following around for a year!

Chapter 5

Edward’s POV. By the way, I’m putting these in here so you understand why I’m only referring to one person at a time.

Sexual tension, sexual tension, sexual tension.

Whoa! Weed? Never saw Edward smoking weed.

I wonder who this “woman” he referred to is.

BAD EDWARD! Smoking in a hotel in the first place is frowned upon, smoking weed in a hotel room is even worse.

You can’t tell me room service didn’t notice the smoke or smell. Blah.

Five at night? Wow, Edward really does sleep off his drunkenness.

I sense some hatred of the Hale family…

I just assumed he called her Isabella because he figured that’s what Bella was short for, but I see I was wrong.

Ha! Emmett and Rosalie! Should have seen that coming!

Edward reminds me of Christian Grey (coincidence? Absolutely not) in his ability to find information he wants.

Cocky Edward, stop shooting down Jacob’s mood.

Sorry, Edward, but there’s only one way to settle THAT awkwardness…

Still interested, so you’re doing something right. I think I’m going to be more into the weird love triangle than the journalism bit, but I’m excited to see where this goes. Bravo so far.

Cataclysmic Humanity (1-5)

Cataclysmic Humanity (1-5)

AELGP

Twilight

Summary: Cullen's Corp has the goods on everyone and the head honcho Carlisle is not afraid to use it. Bella has just graduated the FBI and is thrown into undercover work as a high in Escort to woo Edward, Carlisle's son. Will she succeed or will her caring nature ruin everything?

Rated: M

 

Chapter 1

Okay, first thing I’m going to say is to consider your sentences. Your prologue is sentence, sentence, sentence, sentence. It seems very choppy to me. Then again, I’m wondering if you did that on purpose to try to build up the tension. I’m eager to read on, so that’s a plus.

Second, punctuation. Your sentences just go on and on. You don’t use any punctuation aside from periods, but you should be using commas as well.

I like your story so far, but I definitely see more potential from you as a writer. I can tell that you put your all into this, but I feel like you hold back a little bit. Push beyond your limits, even if it seems silly.

Commas! This is a good start.

I like that Charlie had such a huge dream for Bella, and I dig her confusion in all of this. It really sets up for a great storyline.

Here comes the backstory. I’m glad you worked it into the first chapter so that your readers can understand what’s going on. I like even more that we’re left with a question that is answered directly after it’s placed in our head. Good job.

I’m so ready to read about Bella taking these people down! I don’t think I’ve seen a story like this yet!

Bella’s got quite the mouth on her, doesn’t she?

This story is interesting so far. I’m anxious to find out how it plays out.

Chapter 2

Two weeks to train as an escort? Girl better get busy if you know what I mean ;)

Edward sounds cocky. I love it!

Bella got out of the escort position quickly, didn’t she?

I think it’s really gross she was mildly attracted to some 50 year old guy, but I’m sure the purpose of that exercise was to teach her something to make her better at playing her character in this assignment.

This has been an interesting chapter. It seems kind of like a filler, a moment to catch your breath before you jump into the action, but it does the trick and makes me want to find out what happens with Bella out in that dress.

Chapter 3

I’m terrible in heels, too, but I wear them more than I should. I love how they make my legs look!

Let’s see how well this outfit works for her.

Is this Jasper we’re talking about?

It’s so funny to me that Bella is getting tips from an older man when you’d think a 20 something year old would have it all figured out by now.

Way to go, Bella!

Holy shit, Edward’s the blonde?! No way!!

This has just gotten twice as interesting.

Chapter 4

First she wanted out of the assignment, now she’s worried she’ll be kicked off the assignment? I’m a little confused.

I personally think that Bella did a nice job. She did what they were going to have her do in the first place, just not the way they wanted her to. Plus, without her knowing who he is she could better attract him without the nerves getting the best of her. I just see Bella as someone who would be very nervous in her first undercover assignment.

Your writing has improved quite a bit from the first two chapters. I’m impressed. I can see that you take ConCrit and do something with it rather than blow it off. Props to you.

Whoa, take it easy Bella. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself there, girl.

NO, BELLA! THEY TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HIM KNOW WHERE YOU LIVED!

Okay, good. I almost had a heart attack there.

I can’t believe she’s having lunch with Edward Cullen! What would the director say??

Careful, Bella!

Crap! That’s super creepy that he knows where she lives! This can’t be good!

Chapter 5

The director is going to kill you, Bella.

Bella, don’t invite him in! What about the files you were looking at? What if you get caught? You’re going to get killed!

I don’t see this ending well. If I could read with my eyes closed, I most definitely would be doing so.

ISABELLA SWAN! GET THAT MAN OUT OF YOUR APARMENT BEFORE YOU SCREW EVERYTHING UP!

And here comes the punishment for such stupid actions.

Well, I guess there’s no punishment, but she better be careful or she’s not going to be on this case much longer, she’ll lose Edward and probably die.

 

So far I’m really impressed. I like your story, your writing has improved and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

No Way Back (1-6)

No Way Back (1-6)

Midnight Ariel

Twilight

Rated: M

Summary: One year after BD and all is not well. Bella's newborn year was way too easy. The newest Cullens are much harder to handle-both of them. Jasper has a tough year ahead! Flashes of human memories add to the tension and mystery. Canon plot, all canon couples plus OC couple Scott and Diane Cullen.

Chapter 1

Very poetic opening line. I like it.

Funny that you mention carsickness. When I was nine we (my mom, dad, sisters and I) went down to Texas for my grandparents 50^th wedding anniversary. It was not a good trip for me. The second day of driving I threw up and we had to stop at a rest stop to clean the…big giant cup (I really couldn’t tell you what it’s called but it’s massive) out and then we threw it away (because who wants to use it after that?)

So Scott was overseas for 14 months. Kudos to the fictional family for surviving through that.

And now we learn that there was more than one deployment. Tough break.

Somehow I feel like Diane is going to be a bigger girl which I find fantastic. We always idolize these women who seem unnaturally skinny and don’t give enough attention to the bigger women. I find people like Adele and Amber Riley to be inspiring. While others see them as unhealthy (being too skinny can be unhealthy as well, guys) I see them as role models. They seem to be happy in their skin and they’re doing the same things that people like Lea Michele and Taylor Swift are doing. They’re out proving it’s not about how you look it’s about who you are and what kind of talent you have.

Holy. Shit. That was possibly one of the best car accident scenes I’ve ever read (haven’t read many, but that was really good). My heart literally just stopped.

This is just chilling stuff.

HOLY SHIT! They just survived the drop? That was some very, VERY intense reading, my friend. I think my heart is still racing.

I both love and hate to say this (because I’ve read great Twilight fanfiction pieces before) but I think this is my favorite Twilight fanfic to date. It’s so intense!

First question of this review: What’s going to happen with the children?

Okay. Take a breath. I swear I stopped breathing as soon as the van started sliding.

Copyright at the bottom? Clever, clever!

Chapter 2

Edward’s being uptight. Shocker. I don’t know why, but I never really connected with him. I didn’t connect with Jacob either. I always wanted to combine the best of both of them and form my own character.

‘How does he know that?’ Oh yeah, did we mention Edward can hear your thoughts?

I was never really into vampire stuff (unless you count The Little Vampire that I was addicted to, mainly because I thought the vamp boys were cute and I was a child) so when my 9^th grade English teacher suggested Twilight to me I was a little hesitant. Loved them though, and whenever I read about their hearts slowing down because they’re almost vampires I get a little more excited than I should.

Bomb! Red eyes!

Diane and Scott sound like they’re going to be worse than Emmett and Rosalie (hint hint, wink wink, giggle giggle).

‘Did my husband just growl?’ haha yes, ma’am, he did.

Mate. Ha. I’m immature.

Carlisle is stepping on mama bears toes. I’m surprised she didn’t rip him apart.

A tad disappointed that Diane didn’t keep her weight, but it’s whatever.

“Trust me.” That was BADASS! I hope Edward warms up to them soon. Mostly for their sake. Then again, if he doesn’t there could be some pretty wicked fights. It’s a tossup right now.

Chapter 3

Yes! I think they’re going to learn to hunt!

Bossy, bossy, Edward. Chill your vamp bones, boy.

This side of Edward makes him sound like a complete douchebag. Come on, is this how he felt about everyone who joined his family? Seriously, every one of them had to be changed at some point. He didn’t feel that way about Bella. Sheesh.

I wonder if any vampire has ever been insecure about hunting in front of others for the first time. I’d probably be like ‘all these people are watching me and if I do something weird they’re going to know it.’ But then again, they’re so damn thirsty they probably don’t care.

A bear? Diane got skills!

I was wondering why Emmett and Edward said stop….

Very interesting. I’m sure the Cullen’s are just insanely surprised by this newborn thing being so different.

Scott is very protective. It’s kind of sweet, kind of freaky.

I’m hoping we’re going to find out what happened to their children, now.

Chapter 4

Aww this is already so sad!

I kind of, sort of want to see Diane tear something apart. A good fight scene would be awesome right about now.

How does Scott know they sparkle in the sun?

God this has got to be the hardest thing in the world. It’s one thing to lose your child, I imagine it’s something entirely different knowing that you’re so close to them but you can’t see them, hold them or talk to them. That is insane.

A humorous hint at Alice’s gift.

Awww Scott’s all hot and bothered.

I wonder if Alice decorated the house. She seems very into colors and the way things look. I can’t imagine that’s limited only to wardrobe and parties.

I want her closet. Seriously, I LOVE to look hot.

Okay, so I think they’re about to write the letters to their kids. I may cry, but I’m kind of hoping I won’t.

‘It wasn’t enough.

It was all we could do.’ Pulled at my heart a bit. I can’t (won’t?) put myself in that position because it sounds sucky.

It’s nobody’s fault. Scott was trying to save his wife, naturally, and Diane was trying to save him. Things happen. It’s unfortunate, but things happen.

It’s difficult for a mother or father to think of themselves. You want to do everything for your children and you feel guilty when you do something for yourself, so I definitely understand the whole ‘we haven’t talked and had a real conversation’ thing with Scott and Diane. I think it’s going to be difficult for them to do anything without thinking about their kids, and they’re going to feel really guilty for a while. I know this personally because whenever my sister talks about doing something she always refers to my niece needing her (to which I answer ‘she’ll be just fine with her auntie and she won’t even know you’re gone now LEAVE!)

I THINK I understand why she wants her journals burned, but I’m kind of hoping it gets explained later on.

Chapter 5

There must be a lot of bears over in Forks! I think I’d choose bear over elk if I could get it.

Emmett is such a man child, but DAMN that actor who plays him is one FINE piece of man ;)

Boys and their video games. SMH. My ex-boyfriends just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t so into video games. I’d play the games with them (badly, I might add) and they’d just stare at me like ‘how are you not getting into this?’ and I was just like ‘eh whatever it’s a game.’

Checkers? It’s been a long time since I played. I’m terrible at it. I wish Carlisle was my dad so he could teach me how to play.

How old are their kids? Is that going to be mentioned? Boys? Girls? Any information on their children?

So can Scott and Diane only hear each other, or everyone? Is their gift going to be like Edwards?

Yay for questions answered! That’s two so far! It’s very important to address questions your audience might have, so it’s nice to know this author does it.

Scott is very bitter about this supervision thing.

I’m really hoping the girls are introduced soon so that Diane has somebody to hang out with.

Am I the only one who laughed, loudly mind you, at Scott telling Diane not to expect to leave the bedroom for at least 24 hours once the restriction was lifted?

Chapter 6

“We owed him big time for that; it was gross under there.” Haha classic.

Carlisle only knows of one person who is doing better than Scott and Diane? I wonder who that could be (note sarcasm).

Ugh when are the girls going to come in? I’m very interested to see how Diane will mingle with them, especially Rosalie.

As I’m reading about them becoming closer and being able to spend all the time in the world with each other, 

I’m waiting for the mention of their children. I, of course, don’t see how children could be forgotten so easily, and since this author has done a good job so far of keeping things true, I’m hoping it continues. Of course, 

I’m not disappointed when the kids are brought up.

Sons and daughters! So there’s more than one of each! So is it two boys and three girls or three boys and two girls?

I don’t understand how Carlisle and the rest of the Cullen’s expect Scott and Diane to go without having sex. 

They’re married for God’s sake and before they nearly died they went on a vacation with their kids where they couldn’t have sex. Give them a break.

Fight?

This is…interesting.

LMAO! Three weeks they’ve been keeping their hands off of each other for nothing? This is gold!

Emmett, Emmett, Emmett.

Jasper talking about Alice is just about the sweetest thing in the world. I LOVE it.

“When The Major comes out to play.” Makes Jasper sound super sexy. Just saying.

So Diane recognizes one of the Cullen’s? Perhaps Bella? No?

Titiana? I’m interested in reading more about her, but that’s for another review.

Great job so far, I’m anxious to continue, but I’m trying to keep up with my list, so I’ll just have to wait I suppose (sigh).

Rating at the end of the reviews.